Do you ever notice that after meeting someone new who you are interested in, or who is interested in you, talks about their ex and when you ask what happened between them they have nothing but bad to say about them. I was sitting in my dinging area and eating pizza for breakfast and I was just kind of going through thoughts as I often do, reminiscing as we all usually do from time to time or constantly. Ha!
I was remembering all my past relationships began with, “ya, my ex cheated on me and thats why we broke up” or, “My ex was really controlling and called every five minutes.” Etc. No one ever says things like, “Yea, I cheated on my ex” or “I was controlling.” Ha. see how I flipped that. Though I am the odd ball, I just say what’s honest. My first relationship, i fell out of love with my husband because of the major issues we had which are not something I’d discuss in detail.” My second relationship, okay I have nothing but bad to say there because he was very… yea, and my third one, he was playing me BIG TIME.
It’s so strange that many just find it so hard to just lay things down as they are, yea I am aware if that happened your chances of another relationship are very slim, but if your going to be in a honest, fulfilling relationship, you have to go into it honest and open and if the person doesn’t accept and love you and trust you, just as you are then it isn’t really the person for you. IS IT. I know that big time.
Oh and thing I have also noticed is, if a person you want to get involved with, constantly talks about their ex, it’s not the right time to be with them because they are going through their transition phase and healing phase and need time to do that. Unless your the kind of person who is able to be their comfort through it and take on something like that. So if someone rants about their ex, beware. Your in for comparisons. Ha! I remember my Ex told me about his ex and how she was so dependent and he had to call doctors for her etc I thought, gosh she sounds like how I was when I was with my ex husband. Well I am a natural dependent person. I am forced to be independent cause I am on my own, but still I am always going to be a dependent person underneath, it’s just who I am. When he talked about his ex being dependent and how he hated it I was terrified to say I was the same because I knew that would be a deal breaker, though I told him anyways. Ha! Always honest. Gets me in trouble sometimes. :p
At least now I am finally nearing the end of my transition phase and hardly ever talk to anyone about my ex’s. “haha here I am doing it.” Okay I talk about them, but in a healthier way and at a healthier rate instead of every second, or every time someone talks about something that reminds me of one. Ha!