The Ex Talk

Tags

Divorce, Facebook, God, Health, Relationship, Relationship breakup, Valentine Day, Yea Victoria

Do you ever notice that after meeting someone new who you are interested in, or who is interested in you, talks about their ex and when you ask what happened between them they have nothing but bad to say about them. I was sitting in my dinging area and eating pizza for breakfast and I was just kind of going through thoughts as I often do, reminiscing as we all usually do from time to time or constantly. Ha!

I was remembering all my past relationships began with, “ya, my ex cheated on me and thats why we broke up” or, “My ex was really controlling and called every five minutes.” Etc. No one ever says things like, “Yea, I cheated on my ex” or “I was controlling.” Ha. see how I flipped that. Though I am the odd ball, I just say what’s honest. My first relationship, i fell out of love with my husband because of the major issues we had which are not something I’d discuss in detail.” My second relationship, okay I have nothing but bad to say there because he was very… yea, and my third one, he was playing me BIG TIME.

It’s so strange that many just find it so hard to just lay things down as they are, yea I am aware if that happened your chances of another relationship are very slim, but if your going to be in a honest, fulfilling relationship, you have to go into it honest and open and if the person doesn’t accept and love you and trust you, just as you are then it isn’t really the person for you. IS IT. I know that big time.

Oh and thing I have also noticed is, if a person you want to get involved with, constantly talks about their ex, it’s not the right time to be with them because they are going through their transition phase and healing phase and need time to do that. Unless your the kind of person who is able to be their comfort through it and take on something like that. So if someone rants about their ex, beware. Your in for comparisons. Ha! I remember my Ex told me about his ex and how she was so dependent and he had to call doctors for her etc I thought, gosh she sounds like how I was when I was with my ex husband. Well I am a natural dependent person. I am forced to be independent cause I am on my own, but still I am always going to be a dependent person underneath, it’s just who I am. When he talked about his ex being dependent and how he hated it I was terrified to say I was the same because I knew that would be a deal breaker, though I told him anyways. Ha! Always honest. Gets me in trouble sometimes. :p

At least now I am finally nearing the end of my transition phase and hardly ever talk to anyone about my ex’s. “haha here I am doing it.” Okay I talk about them, but in a healthier way and at a healthier rate instead of every second, or every time someone talks about something that reminds me of one. Ha!

Dating Again, do I Dare!!!

Tags

Cardiovascular Disorders, Conditions and Diseases, Dating, Health, Heart Disease, Home, United States, Warning sign

I’ve had my heart completely mutilated by my ex, but it’s been a year. Well a year since I’ve been in a relationship and about six months since I tried to get back together with my ex and then when I thought we were he cheated on me and told me I basically deserved it. Ya… So I am very nervous about getting back out there and having faith again and trusting someone. I’m being extra careful and slow this time and I know a lot of the warning signs so that’s good.

I started a profile on a dating sight since I always seem to find it easier to date that way and I found a nice guy, he seems really sweet and hasn’t said anything that has warning written on it at all. Far from it, he asks how I am and how my kids are we get along good, he actually wants to get to know me. That’s different, but really nice. He isn’t my usual type, but I kind of like that. I am taking a chance on it, we’ve been talking for now a few days and he has a daughter and we are going to meet up some time in the near future and just hang out. I am not expecting anything, I am just seeing how things go, usually when you have high expectations of situation it ruins it. So I’m just going to let things happen naturally. Who knows.

I just know I need to get out there and date and ease the aching pain I have from my heart and my ex who I still feel hurt from. I know getting up again and moving on is the only way to fully get away from the pain and allow me to heal and forget.

I am excited and nervous and scared, but I am just taking one day at a time.

Hopefully he hasn’t found my blog. lol

 

Quiet Evening

Tags

Books, God, Health, Humor, Recreation, Relationship, Shopping, trust

I can feel the end near of my living in this apartment, ahh, what a relief to be leaving and entering a whole new place full of new memories and experiences. Good ones I hope. I move in a day now, this is my last night here, I wont be sleeping here tomorrow night even though moving day is the 29th. Too much to deal with. I’ve cleaned up the place and packed everything and I’ve got like two things in my fridge. ha! I will be in major need of grocery shopping after I move in.

I’ll be getting my puppy most likely the 30th. That’s what I’m aiming for anyways and then my furniture comes on the fourth which I am excited about as well.

I am so very excited. So many good things lined up in a row, someone wise once told me, when things are good and meant to be, they fall into place. Everything about this move has fell into place, everything about my puppy fell into place and I feel like I am entering into a good phase in my life. I had a feeling about this place I’m moving into the moment I saw it. I remember it, I don’t understand how I could, since I have never been there before, but I remember being outside of it, standing on the street with my double stroller which is now occurring to me that I had just done that a week ago when I went to see it. I stood staring for a long time, just starring at it. It’s what I saw me doing in my vision, I didn’t think of that when I was starring, but the vision came true. My other vision, is of me in my new place eating pizza and surrounded by boxes. I am happy, but there is a feeling of, what now… Adventure, love and new experiences. Good things around the corner from there. I long for it now. For some odd reason, my trusting my feelings has brought me good things. I remember a wise woman told me to always trust in my feelings, because I had a gift. I told her, sometimes I find it hard to and she assured me, that I should not fear in them, but trust them because they are a guide.

I am so excited to get started. It feels so different from all the other times I have ever moved before, I can’t explain it, but it is. This year is strange and exciting to me. So much is changing, people who weren’t in my life are in my life now and people who were in my life are phasing themselves out and acting totally bizarre. I notice a shift, which I knew was going to take place, everyone was so afraid of the end of the world, but I knew it wasn’t an end, but a beginning. A change, like wearing your heart outside of your body, exposed. True colors show. From what I can see, it is true.

I notice the shift even in myself, I feel stronger and wiser and more sure of myself and trust in my intuition a lot more and trust in those I know I can trust in. I see things differently and acknowledge things a whole new way. I am not sure if any of you know what I am talking about, or if I’ve eaten too many fruit loops for breakfast again. Ha!

After tomorrow it will probably be a bit until I can post again, I’ll need to get settled. I am not even going to say I wont post or I will or even when because, when I set a date I don’t listen to it and I post a surprise one. Ha! like to catch you off guard. I never did like being predictable, if I am predictable I’d want it to be from the man of my dreams. I’d want him to read me like a book, cause no one else seems to know how to. I think that’s what we long for in someone. Someone who really knows us, who gets us and understands us. I have always felt out of place in life, I felt different. Having abilities and visions I couldn’t even understand separated me. Even if it wasn’t others doing the separating, I just felt separate, from the world. On my own. I think thats a main reason why people find it hard to relate to me, or make fun of me. They just don’t know what it’s like. At least to me they don’t and I don’t think they really even try to understand.

When I begin painting, I want to put my heart into them, I want to paint my heart on canvas. Paint my feelings and thoughts and express it in a way everyone can understand and relate to. Like a story in color.

 

Breastfeeding

Tags

Babies, Breastfeeding, Family, Health, Home, Human breast milk, Human breast milk, Nursing, Teddy bear

As you all know I had been breast feeding since I had little Teddy Bear, but I have had infections and sores and have just been in a lot of pain regarding breast feeding. I sought help through nurses and doctors about it, but it just didn’t seem to ease the discomfort and I continued to get infections and soreness etc. I decided to stop nursing because it was becoming stressful and too painful to bare. I know many mothers will stay negative things about stopping, but each to their own. I did my best for as long as I could.

Since stopping a few days ago, I have been in so much pain as I usually am after stopping. It is almost unbearable and I’ve been in tears here and there by it. This is awful, but I know it will fade. It was worse the first two days I stopped and today is okay, except when I fill. That still hurts a lot and I have been taking meds for it, which help take the edge off a little. I am looking forward to this being over, big time. Those who are mommys can probably relate to this.

Holy shit ballsicles of fire turd spitflippers is it awful to feel this sort of pain.

On a happier note, I get to move in a few days and am really looking forward to that. “Big Time”

 

 

This Is My Moment

Tags

Cardiovascular Disorders, Clinics and Practices, Conditions and Diseases, Health, Heart Disease, Medical Specialties, Medicine, Pain Management

I’ve aloud myself to become victim to the bonds that bind us to each other and fall completely and utterly into a pool of salty tales of sour memories I slaved from.
To a moment, to a star I looked to each night caught me by my shadow and swallowed my heart, leaving only ache until morning beckoned me forward. This is the pain many speak of, the tears many write and moments we pray to forget, just this once

.

Blind to my own habit, I speak of my memory and fail to rise above my weakness of heart, for I have been captured and he owns my fate. For I have let him, rob me of all conciseness and fall from all grace in the eyes of watchmen.

Then a truth was revealed and in that moment I regained my sight and found my heart beating. It was then when I awoke to my own voice calling my name and my own touch pulling me forward. I was present and aware of everything that existed before me and I realized I was where I had always been. I was home again and in a moment I was fond of, a moment where I had been before, but not in the moment of now, but in the past that was future, but now is present standing. I awoke to the song of love that beckoned me forward of a new beat and a strong thunder that roared in the near distance that will welcome my wounds to healing and bring forward the gifts in showers will I rain for this is my moment. I stand outside of my new arrival and wait patiently, for the moment to match the moment and time to tick the time of start for my beginning to call me forward and no more will I fall victim to this man who holds me in black oil by my ankles and wrists. No more will he hold me back from myself, or my dreams. No more will my nights be swept awake by his calling or his pain he has left by this hole in my heart. My heart will be whole and wait for my future and it is there when I shall have golden eyes of diamonds and sing a new balled and praise a new mate. This is my moment to shine and beauty shall rain. This is my time to move my feet in grace.

This is my moment, I shine.

New Home

Tags

Bars and Clubs, Business and Economy, Family, God, Health, Restaurants and Bars, United States, Washington DC

So Squeaker now has a new home and he looks very happy and the family that has him now were very happy to have him. They even brought me a gift as a thank you for allowing them to welcome him into their family. That makes me happy knowing that he will be taken care of and that I have made a family happy with something so simple as giving them a new member of their family.  :)

 

Here are a few pictures they sent me of his new home,

 

Sick

Tags

Clinics and Practices, Conditions and Diseases, Health, Medical Specialties, Medicine, Morning sickness, Myalgia, Pain Management

I am not feeling good at all. A part from my grandpa passing away Feb 21st, I came down with a cold which is making me very uncomfortable. I don’t feel good and being pregnant with a cold sucks that much more. Plus I can hardly walk on my left leg because of a muscle pain from when I got a charlie horse in it the other day. it was a really bad one to and now it hurts to walk on it.

I hope I feel better soon, this is sucky.

 

Gender Disapointment

Tags

canada, Fetus, Gender, Health, Imaging, Medicine, Pregnancy, Ultrasound

My apologies for ranting about the gender, but it really hurt my feelings how it was revealed to me by the technician and I thought it was unprofessional and uncaring the way it all happened. You see… I have one little girl who lives with her dad and three boys and my little girl wont be able to be in my care unless I want to be crucified on the stand by my ex in-laws who hate me and have hated me and my family since I was a young girl.

I have always wanted a daughter to raise and share so much with and do everything together and be there for her when she needs me or needs to talk about boys etc. Help her pick out her prom dress and etc. I hardly get to see my daughter, so i was really praying this last baby which wasn’t planned was a little girl that I could raise. What are the odds of out of five children I only have one girl? It’s just mind-boggling. The thing that upset me is I walked into that ultrasound with just a hope it was a little girl, but I was okay with it being a boy, but then the technician told me it was a little girl and she was so sure of it and she confirmed the three lines and she said she was 100 % sure of it and I believed her. In that small moment I felt so happy and I was so excited to tell everyone and start preparing for my little girl. I was on cloud nine and I was seeing images in my head of raising her and it was so beautiful and like a dream come true. So much has gone wrong in my life and it filled that sadness and it filled me with hope again which I lost and then the technician said it’s a boy at the end of the ultrasound and took a picture of what might be a umbilicol cord for all I know. I just felt like shit and like she had slapped me in the face and got my hopes up really high and then brought me down really fast and really hard and I couldn’t believe she would give me that sort of information without knowing for certain.

I’ve cried a lot because of the horrible ultrasound experience, but it is what it is and I will love the baby no matter the gender. It was just very upsetting the way I found out. I think it was very wrong and my family and friends tell me to ask for another one, but I just can’t risk going through that again and ending up with the same tech or a similar situation. I’d rather just wait it out and see what it really is at birth. At this point it can be either since she said 100% to both genders. I think she may have been undereducated in the field and didn’t know what she was looking at.

So I was going to name my little girl Claira, but in case it is a little boy then I have chosen a boy’s name that is similar to Claira. I chose Corey and his middle name will be Hans after my grandpa who is dying. If a girl her middle name will be Amandah after me. We will just have to wait and see who comes out in the end, either way, I will be waiting with open arms for my little one. Who is very healthy and very happy in the little womb. It’s heartbeat is 160 and weighs roughly 1 pound right now but the ultrasound is usually off a bit on that sort of thing. The placenta is positioned in the front but the doctor says it isn’t and wont be a problem because it isn’t low. So that was relieving to hear.

I now weigh 130 pounds and my before pregnancy weight was 120. So exactly ten pounds I have gained, some fluid, placenta, baby and breasts.

So.. I guess I wont be able to buy a certain color now as far as clothing etc goes for the baby, since I am completely confused with the results. I’ll just stick with neutral until the baby arrives and then I will buy specific colors.

Boy Or Girl

Tags

canada, CBC News, Fetus, Health, Imaging, Medicine, Pregnancy, Ultrasonography, Ultrasound

I had my lame ultrasound today.

I had a nice full bladder, which btw is very much uncomfortable especially having to go by bus and walk in the heat which took two hours to get there and then I had to wait to see the doctor. So I get into the room and I lay down and at first the tech lady mentions if Niki fuses I will have to reschedule so I’m crossing fingers he’s quiet which he was. Okay so she asks if I would like to know the gender and I say yes.

She says it’s a girl and I am so happy and she says yes it’s a defendant little girl, I can see the three little lines. I would guess 100 percent a little girl and so I get even more excited and then she says. Let me make sure again and then after fifteen long minutes of waiting she tells me, its a defendant boy? and takes a picture of its thingy to show me. Pretty big penis i think for the baby only being 1 pound 3 ounces but um okay?

I found that the placenta is in front so that’s why I haven’t felt the movement much.

So.. yea I am very upset because the lady got my hopes up and led me to believe I was having a little girl and then she takes it all back?

It was so very cruel of her.

I am very upset with how the ultrasound went. very upset.

Here are the pictures.

So I guess it’s another boy, sigh. Kinda disappointed it wouldn’t have been that disappointing had the lady told me straight off the bat it was a defendant boy but she said girl and was certain of it and then boom it’s not?

I don’t understand that. So very cruel.

And how does she know it’s not just the umbilicol cord she took a picture of when the baby is folded up with it’s legs over it’s head? I don’t even know what to think, I’m just really upset with how the tech was with me.

Then after going through all that I had to go back on the bus which was full and there were no seats so I had to stand up and my back was hurting and no one got up for me. I left the house at 12 and I got home at 5 in the evening. I had a major headache from the heat and was upset and still am from the horrible tech lady and her giving me hopes it was a little girl finally and shooting them down. I am not sure how she can go from a 100 percent girl to it then being a boy? They told my sister she was having a boy for sure and out came a little girl. I don’t know how tech’s can mistake gender, they look at everything else closely. Why can’t they see cord from penis? or whatever.

What do you think? could it be a cord?

Falling Peddles

Tags

Arts, Conditions and Diseases, God, Health, Online Writing, Poetry, Relationship, Romance

Falling peddles of northern sun

A rainbow light of shooting stars

In my heart a shield of love

Uncovered in sheets of silky fun

He fooled my eyes and my heart

He covered my ears from the words off his tongue

Upon his lips I felt his lies

It was in his energy I stepped back in time

Unto his hands I grasped at his thoughts

What I heard was a truth I can never take back

To his secrets I cry inside

To his lies I turn my side

To his thoughts I cast aside

To his lips I shield off mine

For this man cannot have what is already mine

My love will be hidden

But shared with the world

My heart will be shining and shimmer in light

My strength will get stronger each day that I rise

And to moments of sadness I smile, ear to ear

For he cannot take my heart in despair

He cannot own my soul or my hand

He cannot keep this heart I hold dear

For my love is within my heart

For my love is not sold or stolen or met

Love is just love

In a story I had

Love is my own

In a chest I hold dear

 

Beating it sings a song of a bird

I’m stronger then yesterday when my cries met my bed

I’m wiser than days you fed me your sweet fruit from the palm of your hand

I see you now dear man

I will not be back

No more

Five months pregnant today

Tags

Back pain, Conditions and Diseases, Headache, Health, Heartburn, Pregnancy, Sleep Disorders, United States

Yep.. so I made it. i am half way there finally and I feel like poo. I get backaches, heartburn, headaches and to top that all off I suffer from insomnia so I can’t sleep none either. I need to talk to my doctor about it because nothing seems to help and I really need to sleep because it’s bringing on way more headaches and I am so tired. Well over tired at this point. I watched the sunrise this morning because I didn’t even sleep at all last night and I’m not overexaggerating. Not even ten minutes of wink.

Plus I had bad heartburn to top that all off.

Sigh… I am so tired. “Could you all say a little prayer and send me sleep. maybe nice little prayer will help me fall into sleepyland and bring me a good nights rest. I really need it.

I don’t have a picture to include with this blog atm, but I promise to add one sometime tomorrow of my belly now. It’s slowly getting bigger.

Are They Interested?

Tags

Arts, Facebook, Health, Mental Health, Online Writing, Stress, Support Groups, Time

Believe me, the fact that your even reading this or wondering if someone is interested in you mean their not. I know…

I have experienced this so many times in life so I thought i would share my knowledge of it and I am in no way claiming I’m 100% on this, it’s only my opinion so don’t get all hyper about it.

If someone is interested in you they take the time to get to know you and to find out more about you once you tell them more. They will let you know in little ways they are thinking of you and that they care. You will have this feeling inside that they are with you and they see you the way you see them. When someone is interested in you they get involved in what you enjoy and take the time out of their day to talk to you and share with you your interests.

Believe me when someone is interested you will feel it and you will know because when you want to share with them, they are always there to listen and show interest in it.

Okay when they are not interested in you, they don’t take the time to let you know they care or are thinking of you unless their bored out of their minds or want to keep you around. They don’t read emails you write them and they don’t comment on things you share with them or even take the time to get involved in what you enjoy. They simply don’t see you and only see you when they want to and it’s usually not for the things that make you who you are.

They will avoid confrontation at all costs because discussing feelings and working on things isn’t part of their priority its just a pain in the ass and they want nothing more than to live stress free and in their own little world where everything is perfect even though on your end it’s defiantly not and since you can’t talk about it you’re the one suffering and the one made to feel like you have the problem. Well you do, but it ain’t your problem, it’s theirs because they simply don’t give a damn enough to help you through it.

When someone is interested, you know it and they show it, it’s as simple as that.

When they aren’t you feel it and you only see them show interest when you give the impression it’s bothering you and then they do something small only because you pointed it out and not bother to stay interested until you complain again. It’s only on a complain basis. Ha

Sound like anyone you know?

Yea… we… us interested get burned a lot because of the lack of interest in the other. Isn’t that shitty or what?

Have you have experienced this? isn’t it so damn frustrating, especially when you have no way or opportunity to voice it to them because they just tell you not to argue and that they want to go or hang up or whatever so they don’t have to deal with you and your drama. hahaha

Yea… I’m sure many can relate to that.

So… are they interested?

Guess the Gender

Tags

Baby Gender Mentor, Calendars, Facebook, Family, Gender, Health, Home, Pregnancy

 

 

I am now 18 weeks and 4 days pregnant and my ultrasound is on the 27th where I get to find out the gender of the baby, so I decided to let you all take a guess to see who is right. Sounds like fun huh?

Above you can see the photo’s week by week, starting at 4 weeks and ending at 18 weeks.

I will list a few more things to help you guess as well.

The heart beat is 160 beats per minute.

My cravings include,

Peanut butter

Chocolate

Chocolate milk

Ice cream

Gummie Bears

Jelly beans

Soda

Pizza

Hot Dogs

French fries

Scrambled eggs

Hash browns

cranberry juice

 

My symptoms include,

Frequent urination haha joke every pregnancy you have that pfft

Back ache

Ankles sore

Acne

dry skin

emotional

itchy skin

tiredness

nausea

some heart burn, not too much this time

vivid dreams “haha”

Low sex drive haha

dizziness

um can’t think of anymore

 

Hmm what else would help?

I’ve looked at pictures of when I was pregnant with my others and each pregnancy my belly looked different so… hard to tell with that one. haha

Um, I did the needle test and it went around and round.

 

My other children, not sure you can guess by what I’ll have next with this but I have three boys and one girl already. :p

 

So with all that info… what do you say it is?

 

Prenatal

Tags

Ectopic pregnancy, Health, Pregnancy, Pregnancy and Birth, Reproductive Health, Shopping, Ultrasound, United States

I got back from the doctors today, which was suppose to be yesterday but I had to reschedule because my doctor wasn’t in. I have sad news. well worrisome news. When the doctor was listening to the heartbeat I noticed something odd. The heartbeat of the baby sounded very weird. It was missing beats or skipping beats it had a weird rhythm and the lady doctor said it sounds like an ectopic heartbeat which freaked me out cause then both doctors were listening and talking in doctor language and I felt like a lab rat laying there asking them whats going on and why does it sound like that and is the baby okay.

The doctor said he’s not concerned it may just be something with the tissue of the heart and they will know more about it in the ultrasound and now of course I am worrying about my baby and hoping it’s okay.

Please send a little prayer out for me <3

I would be so crushed if I found out something was wrong. That would break my heart.

What the Hell

Tags

Clocks and Timers, God, Health, Janie, Personal Information Managers, Shareware, Sleep Disorders, Windows

I swear to gawd, every morning I get up, or it doesn’t even have to be morning. Okay well it’s usually morning when I notice it.

I looked at the clock and it’s like, lets say I see that it’s almost 9 am in the morning and I feel so well rested from a full nights sleep. I get up and get dressed, Niki and I do and we have breakfast and then I glance at the clock at it’s an hour earlier than what it said before so it’s almost 8am. This happens every morning like I’m moving in time. It is so weird, yet I love that shit, so I am really quite interested in what the hell is going on with that.

I mean I have always known i could alter time because I would be late for something and arrive early haha. How it happens I have no clue. Also I would have a shower and think I’ve been in there for so long because I make myself stay in there long because it feels so nice and then I get out and it’s been five minutes and this isn’t just when I’m alone. Oh know. The time shifts even around people and they don’t even notice it.

I’m just moving and their not, or something happens like that. So strange. Or I’m moving faster in a minute or hour than they are and then I catch up once my conscience is back to, hello. I’m still here on planet earth pretending to be human like you. haha

I am alien so this doesn’t at all surprise me plus it’s been going on for a long as time and I have had so many experiences through spirituality that it’s so easy to know for sure, and unless you know me really well like my family and close friends. You aint going to believe me when I said it.

hahaha I like that though.

Who else is alien?

Oh… and who else time shifts?

 

Eskimo Doll

Tags

alaska eskimo, Arctic, Business, Business plan, Consulting, Eskimo, Health, Shopping, Small business

My parents went on a cruise for their anniversary and brought me back a beautiful Eskimo doll. I love her, she’s so pretty.

It cheered me up some since I am going through a tough time right now heart wise with a bad break up again, yea that will teach me for trusting a man who had hurt me plenty times in the past, this time he cheated on me and only confessed because he didn’t want to go out for ice cream with me as pathetic as that sounds.

I am so not ready to be with anyone now and I have to majorly heal from having my heart completely smashed. I was on the couch crying for days, it was awful. I have never felt such pain like that, then when he hurt me like that and acted as though it was no big deal and then turned it all around to be my fault that he did it. I am thinking about getting a ring for my finger just to keep men away haha. Funny huh, but I hear woman do that so men leave them alone. Not like men bother me much, but I do want to add some jewlery to my collection and be married to myself for awhile haha. Does that sound dumb? oh well, I think it’s fun.

By the way I am officially divorced now by law. WOOOOO! I’m a free woman. It feels really great.

I deserve far more and from now on its me first and I’m going to concentrate on my new business plan which is HotSpoX which I am very excited about. I am so pumped about this plan that my sleep time is filled with thoughts and ideas for what else I could do to make it better and spread the word. Right now it’s just a small website and a channel on YouTube, but I plan to do much more with it. I plan to sell t-shirts and products with the logo and work with other YouTube’s for my future posts and sell my own cd’s with original music. I plan to sell E-books and get professional modeling photo’s done of myself later, after I’m back in shape after the baby.

I plan on designing clothing again and selling them.

So much I plan to do.

You can help, by donating as well and by promoting my HotSpoX channel to friends and family and letting others know about it.

http://www.youtube.com/user/AmairaJewelHotSpox

Woman That Diet

Tags

Breastfeeding, diet, Eating, Health, Physical exercise, Shopping, Weight loss, Woman

What is it with woman? I’m a woman but I have never freaked out over my weight, sure, after I have a baby I am fat and feel fat and want to lose my baby weight and get my old body back but I know that takes time, exercise and just getting back in my eating routine. You see while we are pregnant our appetite changed, it severely increased because we were eating for two and now we are back to one but still in the habit of eating for two and if your breast feeding forget about it, you need all that food to keep your milk healthiest for baby.

I always manage to get back into shape after a full year though. Lucky me, but what ever.

It really annoys me when woman talk about their weight like they talk about the weather or their favorite thing to do. I mean come on, forget about it and just do something about it, stop talking about it to me and complaining. It really does annoy me, I am not even going to say who does it because so many woman around me that I talk to do it and it is getting on my nerves and the fact that their skinny already just bugs me even more.

They think that just diet will fix it but you need exercise to, hell even I did. I danced and did my work outs at home to get back in shape after I had my children and I did it as soon as I got my energy back. I didn’t wait.

I just want to tell all you woman who do this, please…. if you don’t like what you see, change it. DOn’t complain about it every second of the day to everyone and point it out because the fact is, it isn’t as bad as you make it and your much thinner then you say or think you are and your freaking annoying me with all this diet talk to the point I want to jump into your body and work it out to size and give it back so that you stop.

Don’t make me pull out my hair.

Who knows someone like this?

Wait… don’t tell me it’s you?

Being Pregnant

Tags

Childbirth, Health, Infant, InTouch Weekly, Jersey Shore, Nicole Polizzi, Pregnancy, Shopping

There are so many things people don’t tell us about pregnancy that I felt the need to write a blog and share because talking about it in a vlog is just too much for me. I’m a shy person and there is only so much I can say on camera or in person as much as you don’t believe it.

Okay so first off after having babies, when you fall pregnant again you don’t even really need a test to know you are because you recognize it and feel it much sooner. Well that’s how it is with me at least.

I’m not going to write this like a typical blog of paragraphs but rather a blog of sentences of what you discover that people don’t always tell you. Here I go. Dun da na na!

The reaction of your partner/boyfriend/lover/one night stand depending on what the case was for you.

Your emotions are so different now and you find yourself crying to toilet paper commercials where the little bear lands in all the soft laundry and is so happy. “Wahhhh”

Things become so frustrating easier than they would.

My cat is annoying as hell now with her constant meow and always making me sneeze.

I’ve been pregnant for almost 16 weeks and been poked with a needle over 5 times and there’s way more times to come, just you wait.

The first thing my doctor said when I was pregnant was, “How’d this happen?” I did find that funny with his accent. hahaha “Remembering it.”

I have so much dang gas, and I don’t mean I fart a lot either. I mean trapped gas where I force myself to burp over and over like I’m burping the abc’s to annoy someone just so I can breathe easier and ease up the gas pain attack. I annoy myself with all the burping but man does it feel good to feel it slowly fade after about 500 burps.

Peeing is no relief because after you go pee you discover you still have to go.

When baby’s kick and get stronger inside it hurts, and they get their legs in your ribs. Wack wack pow!

I have more acne now than I did when I was in high school.

I hate diet and I hate watching what I eat and keeping my weight in good range and when I’m pregnant I have to constantly watch my weight and what I eat instead of just eating what I want. IT SUCKS ASS!

I end up looking like a huge cow, moo. Well I’m cute when pregnant so it’s all good.

It’s so hard to get up or out of bed.

I am so damn thirsty all the time.

I get hot flashes and dizzy spells.

I feel lazy and I just don’t want to do nothing but watch tv or blog. I do go out but it takes encouragement from myself.

i’m always so dang tired and sore. My back hurts, my ankles hurt, I get headaches.

I have so many cravings that just keep changing.

Labor is closer the further along I am and the pain freaks me out.

My face looks fatter.

My hair is just bleh.

Walking is so hard and you become much slower.

That glow they talk about… that’s just from throwing up over and over. Either that or sweating.

We are bed hoggers and pillow robbers. We will steal your pillow for our legs and tummy, just you wait.

We need a man to yell at sometimes, it helps relieve the stress and discomfort. Lol

People who don’t usually annoy you, start to.

You wanna control your weight but your appetite keeps growing. “CHOCOLATE CAKE CHOCOLATE CAKE”

Okay for the great things.

The feeling of being pregnant when you first find out is so amazing, feeling life inside of you and knowing you are creating a life.

Hearing the heart beat for the first time.

Feeling the baby move.

Watching your baby on the monitor during a ultrosound.

Right after labor pain stops and the baby is out there is this feeling, this magical indescribably feeling and then you see your baby’s face and their eyes meet yours and the doctor rests the baby on you, skin to skin and you touch your baby for the first time. I cannot explain this feeling, but it is so wonderful and it takes away everything uncomfortable and hard you have had to go through during pregnancy and all you know is this beautiful child laying in your arms that you helped make.

Wow!

I’m now 16 weeks and I just felt the baby move for the first time today while I was singing This Love by maroon 5. It was so amazing.

Allergies

Tags

Allergy, Beauty, Cat, Health, Pet, Rash, Sensitive skin, Shopping, Skin Care, Treatments

I am not one who has many allergies, though I do have them. Mines are a tad strange to many I tell them to but allergies aren’t meant to be understood are they. They just are what they are and you can’t really do anything about it.

I am allergic to,

Watermelon

cantaloupe

Salmon

Grape fruit

Oranges

Mangos

Grass

Certain types of flowers which I’m still trying to figure out the names of them

Dust

I am sensitive to soaps I can pretty much just use laundry detergent that has no perfume and I can no way use fabric softeners unless they are for sensitive skin

I have to use sensitive skin products for any skin cream etc even sun tanning lotion

 

Now… I am becoming allergic to my cat which I have had for 13 years now and I might have to give her a new home because it’s not very pleasant to have allergies every day.

It’s sad, but I have to do what’s best for me and cuddles. It’s no fun for me to deal with breathing problems, skin rashes, ichy skin, stuffy nose and watery eyes everyday and it’s no fun for cuddles to not be hugged and pet and cuddled with.

It’s so weird how you can become allergic to something as you get older, how strange is that?

The Ugly Couch is gone!

Tags

Charity shop, Chinook, Couch, Disorders, Dissociative, Furniture, Health, Mental Health

The ugly couch is gone, the ugly couch is gone, Lord have mercy the ugly couch is gone!

I ran into a nice guy who works in my building who does maintenance and I asked him if he wouldn’t mind taking my couch out and bringing it downstairs and he did it for me. Thank goodness because the thrift store refused to take it away because it isn’t in very good shape at all.

I am so happy it is gone and now I can get a new one on friday

I still have to get rid of the cushions though, but that wont be hard to do.

Niki’s making good use for it for now though

Hahaha he’s very entertained playing with mama’s keys on it