Birthday Boy

Tags

Birthday, Birthday cake, Children, Family, Holidays, Home, Shopping, Twitter

Yesterday I celebrated my oldest sons 9th birthday. I got him a big boy red watch and a mario birthday cake which he loved. He was all smiles and so happy to see my new place and puppy. I was so happy to spend time with him and can’t wait to see him and my other kids soon. They are getting so big.

I can’t believe I have five beautiful, amazing children in my life.

I remember when I was 13 my oldest sister who now never wants to speak to me told me that I was adopted and that I couldn’t have children after I told her that I wanted a big family when I grew up and got married. I cried because that was my whole dream when I was growing up. To be a mama and when I was 18 and married and my husband at the time and I tried for a family we didn’t get pregnant for a good six months and I was so worried that my sister was right and now I have five. Though I will never forget the baby i lost before I was pregnant with Niki. I love you baby Angel.

I am glad my son had a good birthday party. His real birthday isn’t until Feb 20th, but he goes to school so I had to make it on a weekend. My sweet Johnathan. <3

 

To view the birthday video watch here

 

Dating Again, do I Dare!!!

Tags

Cardiovascular Disorders, Conditions and Diseases, Dating, Health, Heart Disease, Home, United States, Warning sign

I’ve had my heart completely mutilated by my ex, but it’s been a year. Well a year since I’ve been in a relationship and about six months since I tried to get back together with my ex and then when I thought we were he cheated on me and told me I basically deserved it. Ya… So I am very nervous about getting back out there and having faith again and trusting someone. I’m being extra careful and slow this time and I know a lot of the warning signs so that’s good.

I started a profile on a dating sight since I always seem to find it easier to date that way and I found a nice guy, he seems really sweet and hasn’t said anything that has warning written on it at all. Far from it, he asks how I am and how my kids are we get along good, he actually wants to get to know me. That’s different, but really nice. He isn’t my usual type, but I kind of like that. I am taking a chance on it, we’ve been talking for now a few days and he has a daughter and we are going to meet up some time in the near future and just hang out. I am not expecting anything, I am just seeing how things go, usually when you have high expectations of situation it ruins it. So I’m just going to let things happen naturally. Who knows.

I just know I need to get out there and date and ease the aching pain I have from my heart and my ex who I still feel hurt from. I know getting up again and moving on is the only way to fully get away from the pain and allow me to heal and forget.

I am excited and nervous and scared, but I am just taking one day at a time.

Hopefully he hasn’t found my blog. lol

 

I’m almost back/ heart ache

Tags

Diet (nutrition), Family, Home, Parent, Pregnancy, Weight gain, Weight Gain During Pregnancy, Weight loss

Before I got pregnant with my last child Teddy i weighed 120 lbs and then right before I delivered I weighed 154 lb and now after almost 4 months of having my little Teddy Bear I am down to 131 lbs so I have about 11 pounds more to lose until I’m down to my normal, average weight. Yay. It usually takes me from six months to a year after having a baby to lose all of the weight, so I still have a bit to go, but it’s nice knowing I’m almost there. 11 pounds isn’t that much to lose. I’m not working out or anything, just every day activities, like walking and dancing.

It feels so good not being pregnant any more and also knowing I am done having babies. Mind you I am still worried about pregnancy as every woman is, but since I don’t have any body and I don’t sleep around I don’t have nothing to worry about right now. I mean seriously I am worried even though I don’t got to be so much that I am on the pill just to have an ease of mind. I guess having five babies so close together has given me the heebeegeebees. it’s like it became my way of life. Ha! I’m terrified of pregnancy now. Well that and getting my heart smashed again by some guy who I think cares about me, but deep down only lusts after me and wants one thing. Sigh

I’ve been a bit blue lately because I feel like I’ll never find a man, especially one that treats me right and even though my ex was an a hole to me, I still have that heavy feeling thinking, why couldn’t he just love me like I did him. Ya know what I mean. I know thats normal to feel after a broken heart, loving someone so much and then finding out the other never felt the same and after being cheated on really does a doozy on you and it’s been so many months since I was cheated on and a full year since I was in a relationship. If I can even call it that. It’s a few days from valentines day and I know I don’t and wont have any one for it. I’ve been single for so long and I have no possibilities of dating. I know it’s nearly impossible since I am a full time mom of two small children, what man would want that responsibility? I may have to wait until they are school aged to even have some sort of possibility of meeting someone. I can’t even go on a real date, I don’t have a sitter and if I did I would worry about my kids, wondering if they were in good hands, so it’s basically impossible. It is what it is though. Life goes on.

On a positive note, I got my place looking real nice, I am finally living in a place I can really call a home and my little family is very happy here. I have been enjoying the view and being creative here and looking forward to more memories in this place.  :)

 

 

 

Breastfeeding

Tags

Babies, Breastfeeding, Family, Health, Home, Human breast milk, Human breast milk, Nursing, Teddy bear

As you all know I had been breast feeding since I had little Teddy Bear, but I have had infections and sores and have just been in a lot of pain regarding breast feeding. I sought help through nurses and doctors about it, but it just didn’t seem to ease the discomfort and I continued to get infections and soreness etc. I decided to stop nursing because it was becoming stressful and too painful to bare. I know many mothers will stay negative things about stopping, but each to their own. I did my best for as long as I could.

Since stopping a few days ago, I have been in so much pain as I usually am after stopping. It is almost unbearable and I’ve been in tears here and there by it. This is awful, but I know it will fade. It was worse the first two days I stopped and today is okay, except when I fill. That still hurts a lot and I have been taking meds for it, which help take the edge off a little. I am looking forward to this being over, big time. Those who are mommys can probably relate to this.

Holy shit ballsicles of fire turd spitflippers is it awful to feel this sort of pain.

On a happier note, I get to move in a few days and am really looking forward to that. “Big Time”

 

 

Closer

Tags

Couch, Furniture, Home, Home Improvement, Living room, Paint, Palette (computing), Television

Today I got to see my sofa set in person and it is so gorgeous. I wont be having it delivered until the forth of feb though. I want to be moved in and have my mom there when it comes, so it’s easier on me. I also found a really nice area rug I’ll be getting for the living room as well. My place is going to look so nice, I love decorating. I was thinking of getting some artwork for my walls, but I want to paint my own stuff to hang up, so I stopped myself from getting this one cavas painting I liked. I bought a purple throw for my sofa today and was trying to find a nice lamp, but I still haven’t found any I love yet for my living room.

There is only 8 more days until I move now. This weekend is going to be super busy for me. I’ve got to super clean my place and pack the rest of my stuff. I’ve also got to pick up my keys. I am praying the whole move goes smoothly for me.

Oh I also bought an entry rug for my new place, it’s of course, pink and purple.

 

 

Tick Tock

Tags

Arts, Big Bang Theory, Business, Cooking, God, Home, Poetry, Valentine's Day

It’s official.. you know… more than it was. I”M MOVING.

In exactly 12 days i will be in my new place and surrounded by yet, more boxes. Ha! I can’t freakin wait, it’s going to be so great to settle into a place knowing I will be there for more then a year. I have moved so much in my life it’s nice knowing I wont have to for awhile. How relieving it is.

I have been bored lately, because I feel like I am just in the stage of waiting for the days to go by and trying to pack everything, not to fast and not too slow because I still have just under two weeks to live in this box land still and I don’t want to get excited or carried away and pack all my clothes and food and have to wear paper bags and eat cardboard for dinners until I move. I got to be smart, after all I’m a mommy. I’ve got to be smart because there’s no man to blame my “oh my god I packed everything” on. Wouldn’t that be great if there was though? ha!

I can’t believe though, this time last year I was moving, the exact time, how bizzare is that? Only this time last year I was beginning a relationship with someone I thought was going to be the one, boy was I wrong. Ah well.. I ain’t going to sweat it, because I know God has a plan for me and I’m really tired of getting down about not having love and then having love and being heart broken and abandoned by it. Valentines day is coming up soon and yea that day will be kind of down for me, having it be the first valentines day in 12 years that I wont have anyone to celebrate it with. That is kinda hard to think about, but… it is as it is and I am going to smile and buy myself something nice, or take myself out somewhere. When life gets you down, eat chocolate. Ha! or in my case a bucket of Reese ice cream, which is so freaking good, it blows my fav cookies n cream out of the water.

When I move into my new place, I’ll be taking pictures of course because I love to film and capture the process of moving, well along with everything else i love to film n capture. I am a camera hog, but since no ones lined up to be filmed I guess I’m not so much a hog as I am THE STAR, cover your eyes, I shine bright. “Does that mean I’m a sun?” Ha!

 

I love the beginning of a place, setting up everything, decorating, making everything nice and turn a place into a home. That is such a great process for me, I have so much fun doing that, I am not even kidding. I love it so much. I’m serious, if I wasn’t so into my art, I would have been an interior decorator because I just love having things set so perfectly in it’s own place and getting things that fit nicely and keeping with the good energy flow through out the rooms.

I’m going to get back to my cooking dinner before I burn it, or in this case brown it too much and set off the over sensitive fire alarm. “how lame would that be?”

“SHUT UP ALARM”

Seee YAAAAh

 

40 weeks & Counting

Tags

Baby, Children, Family, Home, Infant, Pregnancy, Shopping, Ultrasound

So I have passed my 40 week mark which baffles me considering this is my fifth baby and all my others came earlier. it is so odd to me that the fifth baby is taking it’s time and possibly because this one is very tiny compared to my other four according to the doctors. the baby is only measuring at 32 weeks and I am 40 weeks, the development is right on, but the size is small. Good for me because I wanted to have a tiny baby because all my others were 7’9 or 7’6 and it would be nice to have a 6 lb baby and not tare. (TMI)

I have had a lot of contractions for weeks which I guess are just painful braxton hicks sadly. I was dilated 3 cm and 50 % effaced last time I was checked which was about a week ago. I am not sure if I have progressed from that, but I have no way of knowing unless I go in labor or until my doctor’s appointment on Tuesday  which would make me days over my due date. I am scheduled to be induced on the 9th either way. I am hoping I don’t last till then and go in on my own, but sigh, it doesn’t look like labor is starting at this point. I can’t seem to go by contractions since I have them now and they last days and are anywhere from 8 to 3 mins apart, lasting a minutes and hurt. I am hoping I have show or water breaks so I can know for sure when to go in, other wise I have to risk being sent home for the fourth time. They wont keep me unless I make it to 4 cm and I am progressive.

I really am uncomfortable and have been for quite a while now, I can’t get much sleep at night, due to excessive heartburn and backache. I am unable to get comfortable and I got to get up to pee every hour or less, so it makes it quite difficult. Also when I am having contractions and their uncomfortable, it makes for an unpleasant night which leads to headaches the next day from lack of sleep. Sigh. I am really ready to have this baby and have tried everything to induce naturally, but nothing works.

I am starting to think this baby needs to be induced and I will have to wait till the 9th to get induced, I was just hoping I wouldn’t have to be induced this time, considering it is very painful and since I don’t get epidural s, yea… I am very uncomfortable.

I had a NST the other day to make sure baby is okay to last a week over due and it showed I was in fact having contractions about every five minutes, but they didn’t check me, nor did they keep me. I also had another ultrasound to make sure baby is good and placenta and fluid levels are good as well to last. I never heard back, but I would have if something was wrong, so…

The ultrasound tech didn’t tell me the gender, but an intuitive person who isn’t usually wrong on gender predictions says I am having a girl, which is my feeling anyways. So yay if it’s correct. Also I was eating at a restaurant and I mentioned how my first ultrasound went and how the lady changed her mind of it being a girl after I had gotten excited and she said that they usually do that to save their ass, because they can’t say their 100 percent etc. So she told me to go buy pink lol.

At this point I don’t care what the gender is because I just want to meet my baby, but of course I still feel and hope it’s a little girl.

Either way, it’s Claira or Corey

As you can tell from my expression, I am so done being pregnant lol

 

Doctors Appointment

Tags

Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center, Childbirth, Children, Family, Home, Infant, Pregnancy, Shopping

So I am nearing my 36 week of pregnancy and had a doctors appointment today. I am still measuring small at 32 weeks, but the doctor isn’t worried, this baby is just small, but still growing so there is no concern there. He still believes I will be having the baby early and is hoping I make it past thanksgiving because he goes away for four days and wont be here if I go in. I have no control when the baby wants to come though. :p I am very excited that the end is near and soon I will be holding baby in my arms.

I had a blood test today, the final test for this pregnancy, yay. The doctor didn’t even to tell me to come back next week lol, I guess he thinks either I’ll go in by then, or he forgot to mention it.

I am having very frequent braxton hicks that are much stronger and I get a lot of pelvic pressure and I have been losing my mucus plug quite a bit now, so I know labor is nearing. I was suffering from heartburn a lot, but since the baby is all snug in my pelvis, I have a relief of that and just have to pee a hell of a lot more. lol either way I get no sleep. :p

btw I live in canada and thanksgiving is on the 8th of october this year. I am looking forward to a yummy dinner, fallowed by apple pie, which is my favourite pie in the whole world. OH YES. Will I make it though. :p

So when do you think baby will come? How much will baby wieght? What will it be?

I notice I am very emotional with this baby as well, I cry about everything now. Lol movies, commercials, the thought of something happy. i was walking down the street and this old man tripped and almost fell and I reached out just in case to catch him and I almost started crying because I was worried he’d of fallen and hurt himself. Just at the thought of it, I got teary eyed. Also, last night I started crying because I was thinking what I should write in my step dads birthday card.

Five Children (Judgemental Eyes)

Tags

Divorce, Family, God, Home, Infant, mother, Parent, Pregnancy

I’m almost a mother of five children and as a mother of many children I am constantly judged by family and strangers for it. I am not sure why many have to judge that, but it is quite hurtful to make someone feel bad for bringing children into the world. I love all my little ones and I do not regret any of them. I grew up in a big family, I have three brothers and two sisters and my parents came from large families as well. I am old fashion that way and I love children.

I got married at eighteen and immediately wanted to have a family and did, I had three children with my now ex husband. We didn’t work out for many reasons I wont say and those three children have disabilities and delays and reside full time with my ex because I didn’t want to pry them away from their family home since they are sensitive to change and because he has lots of family support etc for their needs and all I have is me and my mother.

It was so hard to leave my three behind and begin a new life and visit my kids when I could.

After leaving my husband I became involved with another man who I fell in love with, harder then I had with anyone and I tried so hard to make it work and I fell pregnant unplanned and I really wasn’t ready for a baby at all. I ended up losing that baby at 11 weeks in and I was devastated and blamed myself for it because I thought it was my fault it happened because I wasn’t excited about it. I was so hurt by the loss. My new boyfriend and I tried for a baby after that and moved in with another and I got pregnant right away and the loss became easier to deal with and I loved my new growing baby and was so careful not to exert myself because I didn’t want to lose the baby and experience that kind of loss ever again. So that is how my fourth came along. My boyfriend and I ended up splitting, he didn’t treat me right and it was always a wishing game, that he would change and be happy to be with me kind of struggle, but it never happened.

I tried to move on and dated another man which I began a relationship with and hoped it would go well and he was a single dad and seemed very nice but he did alot of misleading things like never spending the night etc. We were very careful not to get pregnant and one night the protection failed and boom, it just took that once. I knew I was going to be alone and abandoned, he told me it was my fault and told me to get rid of it, for lack of a better word and I told him to get lost. You see I don’t believe in abortions and after losing a baby you never forget the feeling of loss and I couldn’t just get rid of it, like it was a piece of old furniture. I wanted to keep the baby. People suggested my giving it up for adoption, but I couldn’t do that either and wonder where my baby was all my life and have the baby grow up and ask why I gave them up? what was wrong with them? instead of being like the two possible fathers I decided to keep the baby and give the baby so much love and know that God has a plan. God gave me five children and anyone who see’s it as something bad I just don’t understand that.

I have had so much pain from men and them leaving me after having children and just being abandoned and feeling so unloved and wanted, my children are my greatest love in this world and my greatest happiness. I am so very blessed to have so many, when some can’t even have one. Which is very sad to me. I love children and having five is the same as having one, only more love to go around. My life hasn’t gone the way I had planned, not even the slightest. I was supposed to get married and live happily ever after with my prince who loved me and instead, well here I am.

Life happens how it happens and sometimes the choices we make change the future, but I wouldn’t change it. I have my children who I love so very much and no matter how many judgement eyes look upon me I know I am lucky and blessed to have such beautiful, wonderful amazing children who have such big hearts.

I wish the world wasn’t so judgemental and actually took a moment to ask themselves what it would feel like to get that judgement upon them. All I know is, I would never judge like that, I know better then anyone what that feels like and no one deserves it. I know I don’t, especially not from family and not from strangers either.

When someone says, “WOw, five, I hope your done now.” Or, “That’s sure a lot of kids” “Why did you have so many?” “Dont have any more” Type stuff, it’s so insensitive towards my feelings.

It’s just been bothering me, this sort of judgement and I wanted to write about it and express my feelings on it. Please be more kind to others, we all have feelings and we all get hurt and you have no idea what someone is going through or gone through to get them to where they are and you have no right to judge them.

On a happier note, “I can’t wait to meet my last little one, I am so excited to see if it’s a boy or girl and hold it in my arms and look into the baby’s eyes and tell them I love them so very much.” (Crying at the thought of it) happy tears of course.

Moving

Tags

Baby, Children, Family, Home, mother, OMG (song), Recreation, Shopping

Yea.. so I got to look at the place on the bottom floor I might be moving into and I have changed my mind after seeing it. OMG. It is disgusting, the person that moved out that lived there before did not take good care of it. The walls are literally yellow. It reeked of cigarette smoke and the carpet needs replacing, the walls need painting and the bathtub is blackish in dirt and crud. The kitchen cupboards are falling apart and gross and the only thing good about it is its on the bottom floor and it has a wonderfully big patio. I am not bringing my kids and myself into a gross unhealthy place like that. NO WAY. So now I have to stick it out with the elevator problems and small place until I can save up to move into a bigger and better place next year. Gosh that place was gross.

I am getting rid of my large tv as well which should be gone today and as a temporary tv my mom is letting me use their small one until I can borrow their other one which is bigger and then borrow that until I can buy a newer one. I said I was going to downsize my tv, but I didn’t realize how much. lol

hahaha

Too funny :p

So I am staying put sadly. On the good side I hate moving and I don’t have to rush to move stuff before the baby comes which is going to be soon based on my latest symptoms and either way baby will be here before the 25th this month so… I was stressing about having to move and stuff and then move again next year, so now I can at least rest easy and just wait for baby and try and stick it out till then.

I can’t wait to meet my last little one. I go to the doctors tomorrow and I believe he’s going to check if I have dilated any as well so that will be exciting to find out if I have. I hope I have a little. I’ve been getting constant braxton hicks all day and night, and back aches. I am sure it’s soon, but not sure how soon from now.

34 weeks Pregnant

Tags

British Army, Children, Family, Home, Loss, Pregnancy, Royal Artillery, Shopping

 

So I am now 34 weeks along and everything is going great, the baby’s heartbeat is over 140 beats per min and is doing great. The baby has already made it’s way down and is ready to come out as my doctor says. He doesn’t think I will last too long.

When the doctor measured my belly it was measuring 29 weeks and I was 33 weeks when I had my appointment, which is now the second time I have measured small. The doctor isn’t concerned though and says it’s because the baby has descended down and is ready in place. He will be scraping my membranes at 38 weeks along, TMI but yay, because at least I know the baby will at the latest be born around the 24th ish in October. I still have a feeling about Oct 16th though.

 

My heartburn is still giving me grief but it’s almost over so.. just have to hold in there a few more weeks and then I get to meet my little dancer

 

33 weeks Pregnant

Tags

Family, Gender, God, Heartburn, Home, Niki, Pregnancy, Weight

 

The day is getting closer and closer and I am getting very excited to meet my little one I know it’s going to be hard getting sleep and getting into a routien after the baby is here but I am so excited  to meet my little baby that wanted so badly to be a part of my family. A blessing from God

I just posted a video of pictures on youtube of my belly growth up till now

which you can watch here

I have little heart burn now thanks to the pharmacist who recommended a product that is safe and actually helps my acid reflux I think I would call it. It was so uncomfortable and I still get it mostly at night time, but that’s when I get up and take my magic medicen and I get get back to sleep until I get up to pee again which I have been doing more often at night now. About 5 times at least.

I feel big during the afternoon and night, but then when I wake up I don’t feel like I’m that huge, I guess it’s because with a full stomach during the day the baby squishes up my stomach and stuff and it makes it feel like everything is so snug inside me. The baby feels like it’s in my ribs and breasts half the time. lol

Other then heart burn, I am very tired most of the time and like to have a nap in the afternoon while my son Niki naps. Have to take advantage of the nap times while I can have them.

I haven’t really been going out much because it’s just too hot outside for me and I get tired easily and plus I am terrified of my elevator which is old and has broken down a few times now since I’ve lived here and it makes such creepy noises I am worried of getting trapped inside of it and I am not comfortable in small spaces. Eek. I watch home decorating and renovating shows and I get claustrophobic just watching those workers get into small crawl spaces and insulate the house. YIKES!

So now that I am almost to my full term mark which is considered after 37 weeks yay. I am asking people to make some guesses on the gender and weight and the day baby will be born. I have had a feeling about it for awhile now.

My guess is

Gender:GIRL

Weight: 7 Lbs 6 Ounces

Birth Date: Oct 16th

I don’t know why but I keep feeling like I’m going to go into labor on the 15th and have the baby on the 16th, I’ve felt that for months now. lol We’ll see if I’m right or close. I will be 37 weeks by then.

I never usually last till my due date which is Oct 31st and my doctor wont allow me to pass it so.. don’t bother guessing past it lol

I’ll gives some history which might help you to guess better. :p

First Child:

Name: Johnathan

 

Gender :Boy

Weight: 7 Lbs 10 ounces

Born Feb 20th

40 weeks exactly

 

Second Child:

Name: Chassetty

Gender: Girl

Weight: 7 Lbs 6 ounces

Born Nov 28th

37 weeks

 

Third Child

Name: Natin

Gender: Boy

Weight: 7 Lbs 9 Ounces

Born April 30th

39 weeks

 

Fourth Child

Name: Niki

Gender: Boy

Weight: 7 Lbs 6 ounces

Born: April 1st

39 weeks

 

Now you can take a guess at baby Five, my last baby

Fifth Child

Name: Claira Or Corey

Gender:?

Weight:?

Born:?

 

 

 

32 weeks Pregnant

Tags

Chicago, Clothing, Family, God, Home, Louise Brown, Mike Jordan, Pregnancy

I’m a month more to go now and very excited to meet my last little one who was determind to be in this world. I am not sure you all know the story but, I had been finished having kids after I had Niki. I wasn’t planning on having any children and took precautions not to get pregnant however while with my ex “J” I will call him, we used protection like crazy and were very careful and I was on my period at the time when the precaution failed. The condom broke and boom, right after we found out it had I knew deep down through intuition that I was pregnant. He thought I was just freaking out for nothing because the odds were slim to him. I however knew better because I could sense it very strongly. 

Weeks went by and I found out I was right and I was pregnant and he dumped me because I wouldn’t get rid of the baby. I do not believe in abortions and I decided if the doctor said I was okay to have the baby I was going to. I had been having some tests reguarding some health stuff with abnormal cells, but the doctor said the results were good so far and it was all good and safe for me to have the baby. I was scared at first and nervious about having, now my fifth baby, but you know, God has plans for us and we were all meant to be here for a reason and for some reason this baby was meant to be born. I am blessed to have all my children. I get judged a lot for how many I have, but you know what, i don’t regret having as many as I have. They are all wonderful children. Three are with my ex husband of 8 years and they have special needs and get better support with my ex considering he has more family and friends to help out. I am raising full time my son Niki who is with my other ex of 2 years and now this one that I am due to have from my last ex who dumped me after a month. I wasn’t sad about it though, after hearing and seeing how he reacted and things he said about the baby etc and blaming me for the pregnancy I am glad he doesn’t want anything to do with me or the baby because we are better off without someone like that.

I am happy now and I can see my other three children when I am able to which isn’t too often with their special classes and schooling and my pregnancy, but they know I love them very much and and I help them out when I can and see them when I can.

I am now 32 weeks along and excited to meet either Claira or Corey. I am also looking forward to it being over because this pregnancy has been very hard on my body as far as aches and pains go. I get a lot of braxton hicks and have been since I was 18 weeks along. I have a lot of heart burn and back aches and just haven’t been too comfortable this pregnancy. I am looking forward to the end and closing up shop after and never having to worry about getting pregnant again. Not like I’m going to get out there and be with guys or anything. All the men I have been with i had relationships with and I thought it was the real deal, but it wasn’t. Three frogs and no prince. It’s okay though, things happen for a reason, my children came out of the relationships and I love them more then life itself and am so very thankful for them.

Niki is growing up fast and is always doing something really cute each day. He says kisses now and up. He can say other words like, hot dog, mommy, daddy, nana, grandpa. He does a lot of babble talk and he gestures a lot with what he wants. he will fallow me around with his blanky I call “His Cuddle Blanky.” and bottle and it means he is thirsty. Or he will gesture he is tired by rubbing his eyes and handing me his bottle. He will grab my hand and move it to objects he wants to use, like the mouse to the computer. haha. he is adorable. I notice he is more shy to talk etc in front of others though. I am hoping he gets picks up more and more. I have never experienced that yet considering my three other children have special needs and still have trouble with speaking. I never got to experience the early words, or early sentences etc of children. I know that probably sounds odd, but I haven’t. A lot of what Niki has done so far has blew my mind because it was like experiencing it for the first time and it is so good to see and watch.

Back to my pregnancy.. I am 32 weeks and a couple days and have another doctors appointment on the 18th. I am going to the doctor every two weeks now instead of every 4 and soon it will be down to every week. When he said to see him every 2 I got so excited because I knew it was getting close to having the baby.

I am pretty much prepared for the baby to arrive besides getting some more baby clothes after she or he arrives considering I don’t know the gender for sure yet and don’t want to buy the wrong colour or buy a whole bunch of yellow and white stuff. lol Bleh

I am still hoping for my little girl, but, it doesn’t matter either way, I am so excited.

I am kinda scared about the labour being that it seems not so long ago from Niki’s labour and I remember the pain vividly and I do not look forward to feeling that again. So it frightens me and I have to just breathe and focus on the baby being here and not the pain that comes with it. Meditate more.

I have gained about 23 pounds so far this pregnancy which seems like a lot for me eek. Though I usually gain up to 35 during my pregnancy’s any ways and I can work it off after and I bought some after pregnancy clothing to look forward to. I can’t wait to fit back into my clothes and get back into shape. It will be such a wonderful feeling to get back in shape and know that I wont be growing out of my clothes again and baring another baby again. lol I am FANEETOEEE!

I grew up from a long line of big families so I fit right into that. :p

I have three brothers and two sisters and my dad is a family of like 8 and my mom of five I think. She is a twin.

Well I’m tired, which has been a normal thing lately, can’t get enough sleep, so I’m going to take some heart burn stuff I got called Gaviscon since I have acid in my throat ugg and hope to get a good night sleep.

Today

Tags

Chicken, Cook, Fruit and Vegetable, Garlic, Home, Mashed potato, Olive oil, Potatoes

 

So today, I’m feeling much better then I had been the past few days, but now Niki is sick with my cold and I’ve been taking care of him. He was up most of the night, but I think he’s feeling a bit better since then. i don’t think he has it as bad as I did, so that’s good. I’m making us a good meal because it’s important to feed a cold. I’m making us some mashed potatoes, beets and breaded chicken breast. Yummy. I’m adding some garlic seasoning because garlic helps with colds.

Nothing else is really new. I haven’t been very active lately. kind of been staying close to home and resting since I’m getting into my late months of pregnancy and feeling uncomfortable. I am looking forward to the end and meeting my little one. I have heartburn non stop now, it doesn’t seem to let up no matter how many tums I take or milk I drink. That sucks a lot, but I can’t do much else about it. I just have to wait it out for at least 7 or 9 more weeks when the baby comes. I can’t believe I’m 30 weeks now and it’s weeks away now. Wow. I mean… just wow. It’s gone by so fast, well the past week it’s felt like it’s going by slow now, but I feeling it’s going to go by fast now and I am so glad. I feel like I’ve been pregnant for so long because most of my life I’ve had babys. I can’t wait to finally be finished and get my body back and feeling good again. It will be amazing to finally be done.

Well I’m going to get back to cooking now, I hope you all are enjoying your summer.

 

Bi Curious

Tags

bi bi-curious experience, Family, Home, Mothers, Parenting, People, Requesting Help, Single Mothers, Single-parent

Is it bad that I am and probably always have been but didn’t want to admit it. I’m more confident now though and don’t really care what others say about it because everyone has different likes and interests. I’ve talked to a few gals that are in the same boat and looking to make a girlfriend, one I can spend time with and possibly explore my curiosity. :p

I’m a wild child Iz is lol “joke”

It’s not a big deal, and I’m not in search of a partner, just a girlfriend to chill and have fun with. One who shares my interests and that we can create and have fun with what we enjoy and love together. Make new memories.

I’m going the online way of meeting girls instead of in person considering it’s hard to know who is or isn’t like me and I don’t get the opportunity to meet other girls much being a single mother and not able to go out alone and do stuff. When my babies get a bit older it will be different but for right now I go out with my son, so you can imagine its hard to meet people. :p I’ve tried mother groups, but I don’t seem to fit in with them other girls. :p

Anyone in the same boat as me?

Whats your first experience with the same gender?

Mine is, my best friend from the u.s when I lived there and we used to play with each other Not a detailed story or anything, but you get the picture. haha

My family doesn’t know this about me, but I’m not ready to share yet until I explore more. I know they wont care though, well my mom might lol. She’s against gay marriage and stuff, if they don’t know I’m into girls it I’d find it odd they are shocked because I constantly compliment woman and defend gay marriage and talk a lot about women and how pretty they are ha ha. :p

 

 

Bigger N Bigger

Tags

Business, Chocolate chip, Chocolate chip cookie, Cooking, Home, ice cream, Peanut, Peanut butter

As the weeks go on, my belly grows bigger and bigger. I am now 21 weeks and my ultrasound is days away for finding out if a little boy or a little girl grows within. I can feel movements now and the baby mostly kicks around where my belly button is. Which by the way is a outty now. I have major heartburn everyday it seems and cramps in my legs and pelvis a lot lately as well from the extra weight etc… I am not sure what I weigh right now but the last time I went to the doctors I was 127. My beginning weight was 120. So that’s a good seven pounds which isn’t too bad for this far along.

I have a lot of acne lately and dry skin and my biggest craving is peanut butter and ice cream. Even together. haha.

I like cherries, Eggs are a big craving as well, Peanuts, peanut butter, cheese and hotdog sandwiches with mustard. Ice cream, sausages, hash browns, french fries. Yogart, chocolate milk. Chocolate chip cookies.

I like cranberry juice to, but I can’t seem to drink it without it causing major heartburn. I also love peanut butter waffles. Yum.

I am pretty much done buying for the baby, well the big things anyways. i still need a few little things and of course clothes for the baby which I can get donated to me from a place I know so I’m not too worried about that.

Moods? hmm well I seem to cry about everything lately. I mean most of what I cry about is normal except when its a laundry commercial. I watch movies and I cry because the story is just so beautiful and I have cried because I feel like I’m lost and not sure what I’m suppose to do with my life as far as work goes. I have also been sad about my grandpa, he’s been diagnosed with terminal liver cancer and wont be around much longer. My mom just flew out to say her goodbyes and I said mine last night spiritually and let him know I  love him. I have lost family before, but not close family. I lost my grandparents from my dad’s side, but they weren’t very good people. I lost my uncle from my dad’s side, he wasn’t very good either, used to hit me and my brother all the time and call us names when he was mad about what ever he was mad about.

I hate death. I can’t even watch a movie where there’s someone dying in it without bawling my eyes out and this is even when I’m not pregnant.

It’s safe to say I am very emotional and more sensitive than I already am with this baby. I don’t mind though. I am a very sensitive person to begin with, what’s a little more sensitive. :p

 

Sleepy Eyes

Tags

Baby Names, Breastfeeding, Family, Home, Infant, Morning sickness, Odense Boldklub, Pregnancy

I am really tired today, man this pregnancy is making me a zombie, :p so tired all the time. I started getting Braxton hicks yesterday believe it or not but I read up that if it’s not your first pregnancy then your more likely to get them earlier then you usually would because you know what they feel like or something like that. I haven’t had any today, so that’s good. It might have been from pushing my heavy stroller up a hill yesterday, but I gotta do what I gotta do.

I am so excited about having my ultrasound soon and finding out what it is and picking out names. I don’t remember ever being this excited before, perhaps because I know this is my last baby and then I’m getting my tubes tied. I’m enjoying everything now and just taking one day at a time and loving being pregnant and feeling baby.

The baby mostly has movement at night-time it seems.

Weird thing about night, I used to sleep on my left side all the time, but with this baby I seem to be way more comfortable on my right side. I’m not sure why, maybe because the baby is on that side, I’m not sure. I keep wanting to sleep on my back, but I heard that you shouldn’t during pregnancy for some reason so I always roll back over onto my side. I love sleeping mostly on my tummy and being that I’m still very small I am able to. When I get bigger I probably wont be able to. Ha!

It’s so hard to think up baby names for the baby, especially not knowing what the gender is yet. I have so many girls names and only like one or two boys names. Though, I’m not loving any yet. I keep asking everyone to think of names and tell me them so I can find one I like faster. Haha. So far nothing…

I’ve heard lot’s of names, just not any that click and make me say, oh ya, I really love that. Maybe cause I have no clue on gender, maybe once I know I’ll be able to settle on one, or maybe I’ll wonder about it till I see the baby’s face and then I’ll know.

I am really hoping for another little girl, but god gives you what he gives you. I already have three boys so… it would be nice to have another girl so my daughter can have a sister. Plus they keep telling me to give them another sister. Haha.

My oldest son Johnathan wants another sister so bad he holds the ultrasound picture and says, “little baby girl, Bel bel” haha. He want’s the name to be Bella. He’s so sweet. My daughter wants a sister to and natin and Niki are too young to really understand any of it.

Omg I can’t wait to find out hehe.

 

Guess the Gender

Tags

Baby Gender Mentor, Calendars, Facebook, Family, Gender, Health, Home, Pregnancy

 

 

I am now 18 weeks and 4 days pregnant and my ultrasound is on the 27th where I get to find out the gender of the baby, so I decided to let you all take a guess to see who is right. Sounds like fun huh?

Above you can see the photo’s week by week, starting at 4 weeks and ending at 18 weeks.

I will list a few more things to help you guess as well.

The heart beat is 160 beats per minute.

My cravings include,

Peanut butter

Chocolate

Chocolate milk

Ice cream

Gummie Bears

Jelly beans

Soda

Pizza

Hot Dogs

French fries

Scrambled eggs

Hash browns

cranberry juice

 

My symptoms include,

Frequent urination haha joke every pregnancy you have that pfft

Back ache

Ankles sore

Acne

dry skin

emotional

itchy skin

tiredness

nausea

some heart burn, not too much this time

vivid dreams “haha”

Low sex drive haha

dizziness

um can’t think of anymore

 

Hmm what else would help?

I’ve looked at pictures of when I was pregnant with my others and each pregnancy my belly looked different so… hard to tell with that one. haha

Um, I did the needle test and it went around and round.

 

My other children, not sure you can guess by what I’ll have next with this but I have three boys and one girl already. :p

 

So with all that info… what do you say it is?

 

A walk In the Rain

Tags

Baby transport, Baking and Confections, Cooking, Family, Frozen, Headache, Home, ice cream

I had to go for a long walk in the pouring rain and of course I get soaked because I can’t hold an umbrella and push my big stroller unless I want to pass out from over exerting myself, so I choose to get wet. I mean from head to toe wet, I got a hood on but I still get soaked. Then not only do I have to get wet I have to wait in line, while in the rain to get my food hamper. Yes I am a poor person and need to go to food banks once or twice a month. That’s life.

Niki seems to love the rain and every time I cover him so he doesn’t get wet he tries to peek his head out and get his hair wet and then he giggles about it. It made me think of my childhood. I was a rain lover when I was a young girl. I remember when I was 12 or 13 I would purposely go out in the rain without an umbrella and just stand or dance in it. It was a great memory, I loved the smell and the feel and the way it sounded and after going inside I loved changing into warm dry clothes and my body felt like it had been cleansed. it was so refreshing.

I snapped out of that memory and I tried to cover Niki up again but he still would uncover himself and lean so far out of the stroller so that he could get the tips of his hair wet and laugh. He is so adorable. It brought back another memory.

I was about 5 or 6 and my mom had six kids so there was a lot of us and there was only one of her. It was hard to get attention sometimes and I was upset about it and about something else I can’t remember and I thought. I’m going to go sit out in the pouring rain without a jacket or shoes on and get sick and then she will pay attention to me to. I must have waited out in the pouring rain on the curb outside of my house for about 10 minutes before my mom saw me and came out and got me and brought me inside. I got my attention at least. :p

Another thing I remembered was I was about 9 and I always got headaches. Headaches are something I suffer from, I’m not sure your all aware of that but I suffer from head aches and migraines. I have my whole life. I’ve been checked out for it, but doctors can’t seem to find a cause. Anyways so I had a terrible headache and I don’t take pills, for those that know me because of my short gag reflex and the fact that they freak me out or make me vomit. :p

I was hiding under my bed which was in the basement where I shared with my other two older sisters and I was crying, hiding under my bed and my mom found me and crawled under as much as she could to ask what was wrong. I told her I had a head ache and she kind of chuckled and asked why I didn’t tell her and what hiding under the bed was going to do for it and I mentioned how I didn’t want to take a pill and I knew she would give me one. Then she left for about five minutes and came back and said, I dished you out a bowl of ice cream, why don’t you come upstairs and eat it with your brothers and sisters. it will help your head ache.

So I did with a few sniffles of my nose and I started eating the ice cream which tasted a tad funny in certain spots but I still ate it and soon after my head ache was gone. I now know that my mother had chopped up the pill and mixed it in with my ice cream. Haha. She was always so sneaky like that.

It’s amazing how a walk in the rain and watching your own child can make you remember things from your own childhood. Sometimes it’s hard to believe we were ever that young, isn’t it.

Anything More Beautiful

Tags

Baking and Confections, Cooking, Dairy, Food and Related Products, Frozen, Home, ice cream, Peanut butter

Have you ever tasted anything more beautiful than rainbow ice cream? I just found some in a store and bought it. how could I not? I love rainbows and it’s ice cream which makes it that much more beautiful. I saw it and I fell in love and I was drooling all over my clothes and blamed it on Niki. He’s teething so it’s more believable. I thought, “wow there is nothing more beautiful than this delicious ice cream and then I saw it.

The most beautiful yummy in the whole world and I drooled more leaving a puddle of my saliva on the floor beneath me, it took awhile to convince the costumers and staff there that my water hadn’t broken.

I saw Peanut Butter chocolate chunk cookies and grabbed them. They were mine, I love them. I saw and fell in love, a lot different then the feelings I had for the ice cream because I love peanut butter and mix that with cookies and I got me some good ass shit.

What is so beautiful to you?