I’m almost back/ heart ache

Tags

Diet (nutrition), Family, Home, Parent, Pregnancy, Weight gain, Weight Gain During Pregnancy, Weight loss

Before I got pregnant with my last child Teddy i weighed 120 lbs and then right before I delivered I weighed 154 lb and now after almost 4 months of having my little Teddy Bear I am down to 131 lbs so I have about 11 pounds more to lose until I’m down to my normal, average weight. Yay. It usually takes me from six months to a year after having a baby to lose all of the weight, so I still have a bit to go, but it’s nice knowing I’m almost there. 11 pounds isn’t that much to lose. I’m not working out or anything, just every day activities, like walking and dancing.

It feels so good not being pregnant any more and also knowing I am done having babies. Mind you I am still worried about pregnancy as every woman is, but since I don’t have any body and I don’t sleep around I don’t have nothing to worry about right now. I mean seriously I am worried even though I don’t got to be so much that I am on the pill just to have an ease of mind. I guess having five babies so close together has given me the heebeegeebees. it’s like it became my way of life. Ha! I’m terrified of pregnancy now. Well that and getting my heart smashed again by some guy who I think cares about me, but deep down only lusts after me and wants one thing. Sigh

I’ve been a bit blue lately because I feel like I’ll never find a man, especially one that treats me right and even though my ex was an a hole to me, I still have that heavy feeling thinking, why couldn’t he just love me like I did him. Ya know what I mean. I know thats normal to feel after a broken heart, loving someone so much and then finding out the other never felt the same and after being cheated on really does a doozy on you and it’s been so many months since I was cheated on and a full year since I was in a relationship. If I can even call it that. It’s a few days from valentines day and I know I don’t and wont have any one for it. I’ve been single for so long and I have no possibilities of dating. I know it’s nearly impossible since I am a full time mom of two small children, what man would want that responsibility? I may have to wait until they are school aged to even have some sort of possibility of meeting someone. I can’t even go on a real date, I don’t have a sitter and if I did I would worry about my kids, wondering if they were in good hands, so it’s basically impossible. It is what it is though. Life goes on.

On a positive note, I got my place looking real nice, I am finally living in a place I can really call a home and my little family is very happy here. I have been enjoying the view and being creative here and looking forward to more memories in this place.  :)

 

 

 

40 weeks & Counting

Tags

Baby, Children, Family, Home, Infant, Pregnancy, Shopping, Ultrasound

So I have passed my 40 week mark which baffles me considering this is my fifth baby and all my others came earlier. it is so odd to me that the fifth baby is taking it’s time and possibly because this one is very tiny compared to my other four according to the doctors. the baby is only measuring at 32 weeks and I am 40 weeks, the development is right on, but the size is small. Good for me because I wanted to have a tiny baby because all my others were 7’9 or 7’6 and it would be nice to have a 6 lb baby and not tare. (TMI)

I have had a lot of contractions for weeks which I guess are just painful braxton hicks sadly. I was dilated 3 cm and 50 % effaced last time I was checked which was about a week ago. I am not sure if I have progressed from that, but I have no way of knowing unless I go in labor or until my doctor’s appointment on Tuesday  which would make me days over my due date. I am scheduled to be induced on the 9th either way. I am hoping I don’t last till then and go in on my own, but sigh, it doesn’t look like labor is starting at this point. I can’t seem to go by contractions since I have them now and they last days and are anywhere from 8 to 3 mins apart, lasting a minutes and hurt. I am hoping I have show or water breaks so I can know for sure when to go in, other wise I have to risk being sent home for the fourth time. They wont keep me unless I make it to 4 cm and I am progressive.

I really am uncomfortable and have been for quite a while now, I can’t get much sleep at night, due to excessive heartburn and backache. I am unable to get comfortable and I got to get up to pee every hour or less, so it makes it quite difficult. Also when I am having contractions and their uncomfortable, it makes for an unpleasant night which leads to headaches the next day from lack of sleep. Sigh. I am really ready to have this baby and have tried everything to induce naturally, but nothing works.

I am starting to think this baby needs to be induced and I will have to wait till the 9th to get induced, I was just hoping I wouldn’t have to be induced this time, considering it is very painful and since I don’t get epidural s, yea… I am very uncomfortable.

I had a NST the other day to make sure baby is okay to last a week over due and it showed I was in fact having contractions about every five minutes, but they didn’t check me, nor did they keep me. I also had another ultrasound to make sure baby is good and placenta and fluid levels are good as well to last. I never heard back, but I would have if something was wrong, so…

The ultrasound tech didn’t tell me the gender, but an intuitive person who isn’t usually wrong on gender predictions says I am having a girl, which is my feeling anyways. So yay if it’s correct. Also I was eating at a restaurant and I mentioned how my first ultrasound went and how the lady changed her mind of it being a girl after I had gotten excited and she said that they usually do that to save their ass, because they can’t say their 100 percent etc. So she told me to go buy pink lol.

At this point I don’t care what the gender is because I just want to meet my baby, but of course I still feel and hope it’s a little girl.

Either way, it’s Claira or Corey

As you can tell from my expression, I am so done being pregnant lol

 

ChildBirth “How to deliver a baby in an emergency childbirth”

Tags

Baby, Childbirth, Children, Infant, Pregnancy, Shopping, Umbilical cord, Vagina

 

(For laughing purposes only)

 

What to do!

When you read these instructions you will find that they read more as a list of how to protect your own mental state. That’s because childbirth is not a normal event for you, and you normally do not have to deal with it!

. Don’t panic. To help you keep calm have a double shot of whiskey! This can help you focus on the fact that you are going to handle something for which you are totally unprepared to do.

. Call for help! This is a good time to get your buddies involved.

. Ask them to make sure they have a drink before they come over.

. Remind the mother that this is a ridiculous time to have a baby, and that she should wait until she gets to the hospital.

. If the baby’s head becomes visible, (for this you will have to actually look between the mother’s legs) have another shot of whiskey.

. Now comes the hard part! Place your hand on the head and provide it with support and try to keep it from popping out. (If the baby actually pops out, you will be stuck with this situation!

. Remind the mother to pant lots ( Everyone says this is a good thing!)

. If your friends have not arrived yet, have another shot of whiskey (this will sterilize your breath) and simply place your hands over the baby’s head as best as possible.

. Do not pull on the baby or it’s head! (you want it to stay in there as long as possible) If all else fails and the baby comes out, you have a critical situation!

. Now you have to get the little sucker breathing! Gently stroke downward on the baby’s nose to help expel the excess mucus and amniotic fluid. If this does not work, pick the little sucker up by the feet and smack him until he starts to cry.

. Place the baby skin-to-skin on mom, with the baby’s head slightly lower than it’s body (to help facilitate draining the mucus). Cover both them with dry blankets or towels.

. Now you definitely need another drink- Maybe mom needs one too!

. Don’t cut or pull on the umbilical cord.

. Now you just gotta wait a while for the extra stuff to come.

. Now this is going to be messy, so get a big pan or something.

. When the big blob called the placenta is born place it next to the baby, again do not cut the cord.

Give mom a drink and keep baby safe until somebody more competent than you arrives, or you get the mother to the hospital.

By now your buddies should be there- go for beer and pizza.

 

 

Doctors Appointment

Tags

Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center, Childbirth, Children, Family, Home, Infant, Pregnancy, Shopping

So I am nearing my 36 week of pregnancy and had a doctors appointment today. I am still measuring small at 32 weeks, but the doctor isn’t worried, this baby is just small, but still growing so there is no concern there. He still believes I will be having the baby early and is hoping I make it past thanksgiving because he goes away for four days and wont be here if I go in. I have no control when the baby wants to come though. :p I am very excited that the end is near and soon I will be holding baby in my arms.

I had a blood test today, the final test for this pregnancy, yay. The doctor didn’t even to tell me to come back next week lol, I guess he thinks either I’ll go in by then, or he forgot to mention it.

I am having very frequent braxton hicks that are much stronger and I get a lot of pelvic pressure and I have been losing my mucus plug quite a bit now, so I know labor is nearing. I was suffering from heartburn a lot, but since the baby is all snug in my pelvis, I have a relief of that and just have to pee a hell of a lot more. lol either way I get no sleep. :p

btw I live in canada and thanksgiving is on the 8th of october this year. I am looking forward to a yummy dinner, fallowed by apple pie, which is my favourite pie in the whole world. OH YES. Will I make it though. :p

So when do you think baby will come? How much will baby wieght? What will it be?

I notice I am very emotional with this baby as well, I cry about everything now. Lol movies, commercials, the thought of something happy. i was walking down the street and this old man tripped and almost fell and I reached out just in case to catch him and I almost started crying because I was worried he’d of fallen and hurt himself. Just at the thought of it, I got teary eyed. Also, last night I started crying because I was thinking what I should write in my step dads birthday card.

Five Children (Judgemental Eyes)

Tags

Divorce, Family, God, Home, Infant, mother, Parent, Pregnancy

I’m almost a mother of five children and as a mother of many children I am constantly judged by family and strangers for it. I am not sure why many have to judge that, but it is quite hurtful to make someone feel bad for bringing children into the world. I love all my little ones and I do not regret any of them. I grew up in a big family, I have three brothers and two sisters and my parents came from large families as well. I am old fashion that way and I love children.

I got married at eighteen and immediately wanted to have a family and did, I had three children with my now ex husband. We didn’t work out for many reasons I wont say and those three children have disabilities and delays and reside full time with my ex because I didn’t want to pry them away from their family home since they are sensitive to change and because he has lots of family support etc for their needs and all I have is me and my mother.

It was so hard to leave my three behind and begin a new life and visit my kids when I could.

After leaving my husband I became involved with another man who I fell in love with, harder then I had with anyone and I tried so hard to make it work and I fell pregnant unplanned and I really wasn’t ready for a baby at all. I ended up losing that baby at 11 weeks in and I was devastated and blamed myself for it because I thought it was my fault it happened because I wasn’t excited about it. I was so hurt by the loss. My new boyfriend and I tried for a baby after that and moved in with another and I got pregnant right away and the loss became easier to deal with and I loved my new growing baby and was so careful not to exert myself because I didn’t want to lose the baby and experience that kind of loss ever again. So that is how my fourth came along. My boyfriend and I ended up splitting, he didn’t treat me right and it was always a wishing game, that he would change and be happy to be with me kind of struggle, but it never happened.

I tried to move on and dated another man which I began a relationship with and hoped it would go well and he was a single dad and seemed very nice but he did alot of misleading things like never spending the night etc. We were very careful not to get pregnant and one night the protection failed and boom, it just took that once. I knew I was going to be alone and abandoned, he told me it was my fault and told me to get rid of it, for lack of a better word and I told him to get lost. You see I don’t believe in abortions and after losing a baby you never forget the feeling of loss and I couldn’t just get rid of it, like it was a piece of old furniture. I wanted to keep the baby. People suggested my giving it up for adoption, but I couldn’t do that either and wonder where my baby was all my life and have the baby grow up and ask why I gave them up? what was wrong with them? instead of being like the two possible fathers I decided to keep the baby and give the baby so much love and know that God has a plan. God gave me five children and anyone who see’s it as something bad I just don’t understand that.

I have had so much pain from men and them leaving me after having children and just being abandoned and feeling so unloved and wanted, my children are my greatest love in this world and my greatest happiness. I am so very blessed to have so many, when some can’t even have one. Which is very sad to me. I love children and having five is the same as having one, only more love to go around. My life hasn’t gone the way I had planned, not even the slightest. I was supposed to get married and live happily ever after with my prince who loved me and instead, well here I am.

Life happens how it happens and sometimes the choices we make change the future, but I wouldn’t change it. I have my children who I love so very much and no matter how many judgement eyes look upon me I know I am lucky and blessed to have such beautiful, wonderful amazing children who have such big hearts.

I wish the world wasn’t so judgemental and actually took a moment to ask themselves what it would feel like to get that judgement upon them. All I know is, I would never judge like that, I know better then anyone what that feels like and no one deserves it. I know I don’t, especially not from family and not from strangers either.

When someone says, “WOw, five, I hope your done now.” Or, “That’s sure a lot of kids” “Why did you have so many?” “Dont have any more” Type stuff, it’s so insensitive towards my feelings.

It’s just been bothering me, this sort of judgement and I wanted to write about it and express my feelings on it. Please be more kind to others, we all have feelings and we all get hurt and you have no idea what someone is going through or gone through to get them to where they are and you have no right to judge them.

On a happier note, “I can’t wait to meet my last little one, I am so excited to see if it’s a boy or girl and hold it in my arms and look into the baby’s eyes and tell them I love them so very much.” (Crying at the thought of it) happy tears of course.

34 weeks Pregnant

Tags

British Army, Children, Family, Home, Loss, Pregnancy, Royal Artillery, Shopping

 

So I am now 34 weeks along and everything is going great, the baby’s heartbeat is over 140 beats per min and is doing great. The baby has already made it’s way down and is ready to come out as my doctor says. He doesn’t think I will last too long.

When the doctor measured my belly it was measuring 29 weeks and I was 33 weeks when I had my appointment, which is now the second time I have measured small. The doctor isn’t concerned though and says it’s because the baby has descended down and is ready in place. He will be scraping my membranes at 38 weeks along, TMI but yay, because at least I know the baby will at the latest be born around the 24th ish in October. I still have a feeling about Oct 16th though.

 

My heartburn is still giving me grief but it’s almost over so.. just have to hold in there a few more weeks and then I get to meet my little dancer

 

33 weeks Pregnant

Tags

Family, Gender, God, Heartburn, Home, Niki, Pregnancy, Weight

 

The day is getting closer and closer and I am getting very excited to meet my little one I know it’s going to be hard getting sleep and getting into a routien after the baby is here but I am so excited  to meet my little baby that wanted so badly to be a part of my family. A blessing from God

I just posted a video of pictures on youtube of my belly growth up till now

which you can watch here

I have little heart burn now thanks to the pharmacist who recommended a product that is safe and actually helps my acid reflux I think I would call it. It was so uncomfortable and I still get it mostly at night time, but that’s when I get up and take my magic medicen and I get get back to sleep until I get up to pee again which I have been doing more often at night now. About 5 times at least.

I feel big during the afternoon and night, but then when I wake up I don’t feel like I’m that huge, I guess it’s because with a full stomach during the day the baby squishes up my stomach and stuff and it makes it feel like everything is so snug inside me. The baby feels like it’s in my ribs and breasts half the time. lol

Other then heart burn, I am very tired most of the time and like to have a nap in the afternoon while my son Niki naps. Have to take advantage of the nap times while I can have them.

I haven’t really been going out much because it’s just too hot outside for me and I get tired easily and plus I am terrified of my elevator which is old and has broken down a few times now since I’ve lived here and it makes such creepy noises I am worried of getting trapped inside of it and I am not comfortable in small spaces. Eek. I watch home decorating and renovating shows and I get claustrophobic just watching those workers get into small crawl spaces and insulate the house. YIKES!

So now that I am almost to my full term mark which is considered after 37 weeks yay. I am asking people to make some guesses on the gender and weight and the day baby will be born. I have had a feeling about it for awhile now.

My guess is

Gender:GIRL

Weight: 7 Lbs 6 Ounces

Birth Date: Oct 16th

I don’t know why but I keep feeling like I’m going to go into labor on the 15th and have the baby on the 16th, I’ve felt that for months now. lol We’ll see if I’m right or close. I will be 37 weeks by then.

I never usually last till my due date which is Oct 31st and my doctor wont allow me to pass it so.. don’t bother guessing past it lol

I’ll gives some history which might help you to guess better. :p

First Child:

Name: Johnathan

 

Gender :Boy

Weight: 7 Lbs 10 ounces

Born Feb 20th

40 weeks exactly

 

Second Child:

Name: Chassetty

Gender: Girl

Weight: 7 Lbs 6 ounces

Born Nov 28th

37 weeks

 

Third Child

Name: Natin

Gender: Boy

Weight: 7 Lbs 9 Ounces

Born April 30th

39 weeks

 

Fourth Child

Name: Niki

Gender: Boy

Weight: 7 Lbs 6 ounces

Born: April 1st

39 weeks

 

Now you can take a guess at baby Five, my last baby

Fifth Child

Name: Claira Or Corey

Gender:?

Weight:?

Born:?

 

 

 

32 weeks Pregnant

Tags

Chicago, Clothing, Family, God, Home, Louise Brown, Mike Jordan, Pregnancy

I’m a month more to go now and very excited to meet my last little one who was determind to be in this world. I am not sure you all know the story but, I had been finished having kids after I had Niki. I wasn’t planning on having any children and took precautions not to get pregnant however while with my ex “J” I will call him, we used protection like crazy and were very careful and I was on my period at the time when the precaution failed. The condom broke and boom, right after we found out it had I knew deep down through intuition that I was pregnant. He thought I was just freaking out for nothing because the odds were slim to him. I however knew better because I could sense it very strongly. 

Weeks went by and I found out I was right and I was pregnant and he dumped me because I wouldn’t get rid of the baby. I do not believe in abortions and I decided if the doctor said I was okay to have the baby I was going to. I had been having some tests reguarding some health stuff with abnormal cells, but the doctor said the results were good so far and it was all good and safe for me to have the baby. I was scared at first and nervious about having, now my fifth baby, but you know, God has plans for us and we were all meant to be here for a reason and for some reason this baby was meant to be born. I am blessed to have all my children. I get judged a lot for how many I have, but you know what, i don’t regret having as many as I have. They are all wonderful children. Three are with my ex husband of 8 years and they have special needs and get better support with my ex considering he has more family and friends to help out. I am raising full time my son Niki who is with my other ex of 2 years and now this one that I am due to have from my last ex who dumped me after a month. I wasn’t sad about it though, after hearing and seeing how he reacted and things he said about the baby etc and blaming me for the pregnancy I am glad he doesn’t want anything to do with me or the baby because we are better off without someone like that.

I am happy now and I can see my other three children when I am able to which isn’t too often with their special classes and schooling and my pregnancy, but they know I love them very much and and I help them out when I can and see them when I can.

I am now 32 weeks along and excited to meet either Claira or Corey. I am also looking forward to it being over because this pregnancy has been very hard on my body as far as aches and pains go. I get a lot of braxton hicks and have been since I was 18 weeks along. I have a lot of heart burn and back aches and just haven’t been too comfortable this pregnancy. I am looking forward to the end and closing up shop after and never having to worry about getting pregnant again. Not like I’m going to get out there and be with guys or anything. All the men I have been with i had relationships with and I thought it was the real deal, but it wasn’t. Three frogs and no prince. It’s okay though, things happen for a reason, my children came out of the relationships and I love them more then life itself and am so very thankful for them.

Niki is growing up fast and is always doing something really cute each day. He says kisses now and up. He can say other words like, hot dog, mommy, daddy, nana, grandpa. He does a lot of babble talk and he gestures a lot with what he wants. he will fallow me around with his blanky I call “His Cuddle Blanky.” and bottle and it means he is thirsty. Or he will gesture he is tired by rubbing his eyes and handing me his bottle. He will grab my hand and move it to objects he wants to use, like the mouse to the computer. haha. he is adorable. I notice he is more shy to talk etc in front of others though. I am hoping he gets picks up more and more. I have never experienced that yet considering my three other children have special needs and still have trouble with speaking. I never got to experience the early words, or early sentences etc of children. I know that probably sounds odd, but I haven’t. A lot of what Niki has done so far has blew my mind because it was like experiencing it for the first time and it is so good to see and watch.

Back to my pregnancy.. I am 32 weeks and a couple days and have another doctors appointment on the 18th. I am going to the doctor every two weeks now instead of every 4 and soon it will be down to every week. When he said to see him every 2 I got so excited because I knew it was getting close to having the baby.

I am pretty much prepared for the baby to arrive besides getting some more baby clothes after she or he arrives considering I don’t know the gender for sure yet and don’t want to buy the wrong colour or buy a whole bunch of yellow and white stuff. lol Bleh

I am still hoping for my little girl, but, it doesn’t matter either way, I am so excited.

I am kinda scared about the labour being that it seems not so long ago from Niki’s labour and I remember the pain vividly and I do not look forward to feeling that again. So it frightens me and I have to just breathe and focus on the baby being here and not the pain that comes with it. Meditate more.

I have gained about 23 pounds so far this pregnancy which seems like a lot for me eek. Though I usually gain up to 35 during my pregnancy’s any ways and I can work it off after and I bought some after pregnancy clothing to look forward to. I can’t wait to fit back into my clothes and get back into shape. It will be such a wonderful feeling to get back in shape and know that I wont be growing out of my clothes again and baring another baby again. lol I am FANEETOEEE!

I grew up from a long line of big families so I fit right into that. :p

I have three brothers and two sisters and my dad is a family of like 8 and my mom of five I think. She is a twin.

Well I’m tired, which has been a normal thing lately, can’t get enough sleep, so I’m going to take some heart burn stuff I got called Gaviscon since I have acid in my throat ugg and hope to get a good night sleep.

Getting Dissed On TV

Tags

American Idol, Nigel Lythgoe, Opening act, opinion tv e! opening act JASON DERULO, Pregnancy, So You Think You Can Dance (U.S. TV series), Television, Television program, Video

The new show is on E! called Opening Act where they are finding amiture artists or as I like to call them, un-noticed artists to open for stars on concerts etc.  I was chosen as one of the selections to be seen by the judges, who knows why, since I was pregnant and would have no way of being on that show, nor would I have chosen that video/song to be played for that if I was serious about getting on it, considering I’m pregnant in it and it’s about me being silly and singing about being pregnant. Though the judges added it into the selection and chose to use it as a fill in to insult me. Funny, yes. Weird? Um yes, yes it is.

Does it make them look unprofessional to do so, WHY YES YES IT DOES. I think if your a judge you should be more respectful and shouldn’t judge material that clearly doesn’t even fit the category. Like what the hell, I wasn’t up against prego mothers. Or in a silly category. COME ON. Plus I wrote that cool funny song, get a sense of humour NIGEL! “CRAZY MY ASS”

Oh and the girls that judged. They allz wuz just jealous of my pregnant glow. POW

I did like the black guy, he wuz HOT, At least he said he liked it. lol ” I believe his name is  JASON DERULO , he is in my good books, the others can suck FLY’S

 

http://ca.eonline.com/videos/opening-act-bonus-rb-star-search/194498

My video begins at the 4 min mark where the girls and the guy who judge  Nigel Lythgoe . Seems to always be girls that diss I notice. I’m not sure why they used my video in there and everyone elses song was Nikki’s kinda strange. Also they don’t realize I’m being silly and I’m pregnant and the song and video is about that, though I don’t look too pregnant in it so how could they know.

Yea yea.. Famous people talked about me. BIG DEAL. Their just people like you and I. Only they have lots of cash, live in big houses and are on tv and stamped with a famous label of BIG NEWS. WOOP. I was just on tv for the second time, does that mean I’m FAMOUS TO?

Whatever lol

I’m laughing this off because the fact that I’m pregnant and in that selection is mind blowing to me. I shoulda been in a silly group and in one where others were pregnant performing as well. DAH! how the hell can I even be selected when I’m baking a baby in my Belly. COME ON!

 

Gender Disapointment

Tags

canada, Fetus, Gender, Health, Imaging, Medicine, Pregnancy, Ultrasound

My apologies for ranting about the gender, but it really hurt my feelings how it was revealed to me by the technician and I thought it was unprofessional and uncaring the way it all happened. You see… I have one little girl who lives with her dad and three boys and my little girl wont be able to be in my care unless I want to be crucified on the stand by my ex in-laws who hate me and have hated me and my family since I was a young girl.

I have always wanted a daughter to raise and share so much with and do everything together and be there for her when she needs me or needs to talk about boys etc. Help her pick out her prom dress and etc. I hardly get to see my daughter, so i was really praying this last baby which wasn’t planned was a little girl that I could raise. What are the odds of out of five children I only have one girl? It’s just mind-boggling. The thing that upset me is I walked into that ultrasound with just a hope it was a little girl, but I was okay with it being a boy, but then the technician told me it was a little girl and she was so sure of it and she confirmed the three lines and she said she was 100 % sure of it and I believed her. In that small moment I felt so happy and I was so excited to tell everyone and start preparing for my little girl. I was on cloud nine and I was seeing images in my head of raising her and it was so beautiful and like a dream come true. So much has gone wrong in my life and it filled that sadness and it filled me with hope again which I lost and then the technician said it’s a boy at the end of the ultrasound and took a picture of what might be a umbilicol cord for all I know. I just felt like shit and like she had slapped me in the face and got my hopes up really high and then brought me down really fast and really hard and I couldn’t believe she would give me that sort of information without knowing for certain.

I’ve cried a lot because of the horrible ultrasound experience, but it is what it is and I will love the baby no matter the gender. It was just very upsetting the way I found out. I think it was very wrong and my family and friends tell me to ask for another one, but I just can’t risk going through that again and ending up with the same tech or a similar situation. I’d rather just wait it out and see what it really is at birth. At this point it can be either since she said 100% to both genders. I think she may have been undereducated in the field and didn’t know what she was looking at.

So I was going to name my little girl Claira, but in case it is a little boy then I have chosen a boy’s name that is similar to Claira. I chose Corey and his middle name will be Hans after my grandpa who is dying. If a girl her middle name will be Amandah after me. We will just have to wait and see who comes out in the end, either way, I will be waiting with open arms for my little one. Who is very healthy and very happy in the little womb. It’s heartbeat is 160 and weighs roughly 1 pound right now but the ultrasound is usually off a bit on that sort of thing. The placenta is positioned in the front but the doctor says it isn’t and wont be a problem because it isn’t low. So that was relieving to hear.

I now weigh 130 pounds and my before pregnancy weight was 120. So exactly ten pounds I have gained, some fluid, placenta, baby and breasts.

So.. I guess I wont be able to buy a certain color now as far as clothing etc goes for the baby, since I am completely confused with the results. I’ll just stick with neutral until the baby arrives and then I will buy specific colors.

Boy Or Girl

Tags

canada, CBC News, Fetus, Health, Imaging, Medicine, Pregnancy, Ultrasonography, Ultrasound

I had my lame ultrasound today.

I had a nice full bladder, which btw is very much uncomfortable especially having to go by bus and walk in the heat which took two hours to get there and then I had to wait to see the doctor. So I get into the room and I lay down and at first the tech lady mentions if Niki fuses I will have to reschedule so I’m crossing fingers he’s quiet which he was. Okay so she asks if I would like to know the gender and I say yes.

She says it’s a girl and I am so happy and she says yes it’s a defendant little girl, I can see the three little lines. I would guess 100 percent a little girl and so I get even more excited and then she says. Let me make sure again and then after fifteen long minutes of waiting she tells me, its a defendant boy? and takes a picture of its thingy to show me. Pretty big penis i think for the baby only being 1 pound 3 ounces but um okay?

I found that the placenta is in front so that’s why I haven’t felt the movement much.

So.. yea I am very upset because the lady got my hopes up and led me to believe I was having a little girl and then she takes it all back?

It was so very cruel of her.

I am very upset with how the ultrasound went. very upset.

Here are the pictures.

So I guess it’s another boy, sigh. Kinda disappointed it wouldn’t have been that disappointing had the lady told me straight off the bat it was a defendant boy but she said girl and was certain of it and then boom it’s not?

I don’t understand that. So very cruel.

And how does she know it’s not just the umbilicol cord she took a picture of when the baby is folded up with it’s legs over it’s head? I don’t even know what to think, I’m just really upset with how the tech was with me.

Then after going through all that I had to go back on the bus which was full and there were no seats so I had to stand up and my back was hurting and no one got up for me. I left the house at 12 and I got home at 5 in the evening. I had a major headache from the heat and was upset and still am from the horrible tech lady and her giving me hopes it was a little girl finally and shooting them down. I am not sure how she can go from a 100 percent girl to it then being a boy? They told my sister she was having a boy for sure and out came a little girl. I don’t know how tech’s can mistake gender, they look at everything else closely. Why can’t they see cord from penis? or whatever.

What do you think? could it be a cord?

Five months pregnant today

Tags

Back pain, Conditions and Diseases, Headache, Health, Heartburn, Pregnancy, Sleep Disorders, United States

Yep.. so I made it. i am half way there finally and I feel like poo. I get backaches, heartburn, headaches and to top that all off I suffer from insomnia so I can’t sleep none either. I need to talk to my doctor about it because nothing seems to help and I really need to sleep because it’s bringing on way more headaches and I am so tired. Well over tired at this point. I watched the sunrise this morning because I didn’t even sleep at all last night and I’m not overexaggerating. Not even ten minutes of wink.

Plus I had bad heartburn to top that all off.

Sigh… I am so tired. “Could you all say a little prayer and send me sleep. maybe nice little prayer will help me fall into sleepyland and bring me a good nights rest. I really need it.

I don’t have a picture to include with this blog atm, but I promise to add one sometime tomorrow of my belly now. It’s slowly getting bigger.

Sleepy Eyes

Tags

Baby Names, Breastfeeding, Family, Home, Infant, Morning sickness, Odense Boldklub, Pregnancy

I am really tired today, man this pregnancy is making me a zombie, :p so tired all the time. I started getting Braxton hicks yesterday believe it or not but I read up that if it’s not your first pregnancy then your more likely to get them earlier then you usually would because you know what they feel like or something like that. I haven’t had any today, so that’s good. It might have been from pushing my heavy stroller up a hill yesterday, but I gotta do what I gotta do.

I am so excited about having my ultrasound soon and finding out what it is and picking out names. I don’t remember ever being this excited before, perhaps because I know this is my last baby and then I’m getting my tubes tied. I’m enjoying everything now and just taking one day at a time and loving being pregnant and feeling baby.

The baby mostly has movement at night-time it seems.

Weird thing about night, I used to sleep on my left side all the time, but with this baby I seem to be way more comfortable on my right side. I’m not sure why, maybe because the baby is on that side, I’m not sure. I keep wanting to sleep on my back, but I heard that you shouldn’t during pregnancy for some reason so I always roll back over onto my side. I love sleeping mostly on my tummy and being that I’m still very small I am able to. When I get bigger I probably wont be able to. Ha!

It’s so hard to think up baby names for the baby, especially not knowing what the gender is yet. I have so many girls names and only like one or two boys names. Though, I’m not loving any yet. I keep asking everyone to think of names and tell me them so I can find one I like faster. Haha. So far nothing…

I’ve heard lot’s of names, just not any that click and make me say, oh ya, I really love that. Maybe cause I have no clue on gender, maybe once I know I’ll be able to settle on one, or maybe I’ll wonder about it till I see the baby’s face and then I’ll know.

I am really hoping for another little girl, but god gives you what he gives you. I already have three boys so… it would be nice to have another girl so my daughter can have a sister. Plus they keep telling me to give them another sister. Haha.

My oldest son Johnathan wants another sister so bad he holds the ultrasound picture and says, “little baby girl, Bel bel” haha. He want’s the name to be Bella. He’s so sweet. My daughter wants a sister to and natin and Niki are too young to really understand any of it.

Omg I can’t wait to find out hehe.

 

Guess the Gender

Tags

Baby Gender Mentor, Calendars, Facebook, Family, Gender, Health, Home, Pregnancy

 

 

I am now 18 weeks and 4 days pregnant and my ultrasound is on the 27th where I get to find out the gender of the baby, so I decided to let you all take a guess to see who is right. Sounds like fun huh?

Above you can see the photo’s week by week, starting at 4 weeks and ending at 18 weeks.

I will list a few more things to help you guess as well.

The heart beat is 160 beats per minute.

My cravings include,

Peanut butter

Chocolate

Chocolate milk

Ice cream

Gummie Bears

Jelly beans

Soda

Pizza

Hot Dogs

French fries

Scrambled eggs

Hash browns

cranberry juice

 

My symptoms include,

Frequent urination haha joke every pregnancy you have that pfft

Back ache

Ankles sore

Acne

dry skin

emotional

itchy skin

tiredness

nausea

some heart burn, not too much this time

vivid dreams “haha”

Low sex drive haha

dizziness

um can’t think of anymore

 

Hmm what else would help?

I’ve looked at pictures of when I was pregnant with my others and each pregnancy my belly looked different so… hard to tell with that one. haha

Um, I did the needle test and it went around and round.

 

My other children, not sure you can guess by what I’ll have next with this but I have three boys and one girl already. :p

 

So with all that info… what do you say it is?

 

Prenatal

Tags

Ectopic pregnancy, Health, Pregnancy, Pregnancy and Birth, Reproductive Health, Shopping, Ultrasound, United States

I got back from the doctors today, which was suppose to be yesterday but I had to reschedule because my doctor wasn’t in. I have sad news. well worrisome news. When the doctor was listening to the heartbeat I noticed something odd. The heartbeat of the baby sounded very weird. It was missing beats or skipping beats it had a weird rhythm and the lady doctor said it sounds like an ectopic heartbeat which freaked me out cause then both doctors were listening and talking in doctor language and I felt like a lab rat laying there asking them whats going on and why does it sound like that and is the baby okay.

The doctor said he’s not concerned it may just be something with the tissue of the heart and they will know more about it in the ultrasound and now of course I am worrying about my baby and hoping it’s okay.

Please send a little prayer out for me <3

I would be so crushed if I found out something was wrong. That would break my heart.

Being Pregnant

Tags

Childbirth, Health, Infant, InTouch Weekly, Jersey Shore, Nicole Polizzi, Pregnancy, Shopping

There are so many things people don’t tell us about pregnancy that I felt the need to write a blog and share because talking about it in a vlog is just too much for me. I’m a shy person and there is only so much I can say on camera or in person as much as you don’t believe it.

Okay so first off after having babies, when you fall pregnant again you don’t even really need a test to know you are because you recognize it and feel it much sooner. Well that’s how it is with me at least.

I’m not going to write this like a typical blog of paragraphs but rather a blog of sentences of what you discover that people don’t always tell you. Here I go. Dun da na na!

The reaction of your partner/boyfriend/lover/one night stand depending on what the case was for you.

Your emotions are so different now and you find yourself crying to toilet paper commercials where the little bear lands in all the soft laundry and is so happy. “Wahhhh”

Things become so frustrating easier than they would.

My cat is annoying as hell now with her constant meow and always making me sneeze.

I’ve been pregnant for almost 16 weeks and been poked with a needle over 5 times and there’s way more times to come, just you wait.

The first thing my doctor said when I was pregnant was, “How’d this happen?” I did find that funny with his accent. hahaha “Remembering it.”

I have so much dang gas, and I don’t mean I fart a lot either. I mean trapped gas where I force myself to burp over and over like I’m burping the abc’s to annoy someone just so I can breathe easier and ease up the gas pain attack. I annoy myself with all the burping but man does it feel good to feel it slowly fade after about 500 burps.

Peeing is no relief because after you go pee you discover you still have to go.

When baby’s kick and get stronger inside it hurts, and they get their legs in your ribs. Wack wack pow!

I have more acne now than I did when I was in high school.

I hate diet and I hate watching what I eat and keeping my weight in good range and when I’m pregnant I have to constantly watch my weight and what I eat instead of just eating what I want. IT SUCKS ASS!

I end up looking like a huge cow, moo. Well I’m cute when pregnant so it’s all good.

It’s so hard to get up or out of bed.

I am so damn thirsty all the time.

I get hot flashes and dizzy spells.

I feel lazy and I just don’t want to do nothing but watch tv or blog. I do go out but it takes encouragement from myself.

i’m always so dang tired and sore. My back hurts, my ankles hurt, I get headaches.

I have so many cravings that just keep changing.

Labor is closer the further along I am and the pain freaks me out.

My face looks fatter.

My hair is just bleh.

Walking is so hard and you become much slower.

That glow they talk about… that’s just from throwing up over and over. Either that or sweating.

We are bed hoggers and pillow robbers. We will steal your pillow for our legs and tummy, just you wait.

We need a man to yell at sometimes, it helps relieve the stress and discomfort. Lol

People who don’t usually annoy you, start to.

You wanna control your weight but your appetite keeps growing. “CHOCOLATE CAKE CHOCOLATE CAKE”

Okay for the great things.

The feeling of being pregnant when you first find out is so amazing, feeling life inside of you and knowing you are creating a life.

Hearing the heart beat for the first time.

Feeling the baby move.

Watching your baby on the monitor during a ultrosound.

Right after labor pain stops and the baby is out there is this feeling, this magical indescribably feeling and then you see your baby’s face and their eyes meet yours and the doctor rests the baby on you, skin to skin and you touch your baby for the first time. I cannot explain this feeling, but it is so wonderful and it takes away everything uncomfortable and hard you have had to go through during pregnancy and all you know is this beautiful child laying in your arms that you helped make.

Wow!

I’m now 16 weeks and I just felt the baby move for the first time today while I was singing This Love by maroon 5. It was so amazing.

Weekends over

Tags

Family, Home, Morning sickness, Nausea, Pregnancy, Pregnancy Symptoms, Relationships, Symptom

I took my kiddies home and now I’m just playing some motorcycle mario online that my son Johnathan got me addicted to but level 7 is too hard so I decided to take a break and write a blog before I jump in the shower. It was a nice weekend with my kids. They had lots of fun. I haven’t really been feeling 100% a part from pregnancy symptoms nausea and tiredness. i just feel blue here and there because I feel alone. Not in a sense that I have no one because I have my little ones. I just feel alone in the love department. I am a very affectionate person and need that sort of thing, love, intimacy… etc and I haven’t had it in a long time.

No I don’t mean sex. Pfft.

I just feel blue.

People keep telling me, “oh your pretty so of course you will meet someone but I’d like to tell you all a secret most don’t probably know about pretty people as you call me. It’s hard for us to when it comes to finding someone because we tend to get the wrong someone whose just after our looks and what we can do for them. Instead of into who we are and our hearts and what we’re all about. i know that for a fact through experience. It’s so hard to find someone. Me… I have it hard because, ya I am pretty… not the most beautiful girl in the world of course. Pfft, but a decent pretty girl, but I also look 11 years younger than I am. So that makes it also hard to meet someone because guys my age think I’m took young and younger guys who think I’m as old as I look, around 17 don’t want a girl with kids.

Especially not one that’s expecting. No one’s going to want that.

Sigh. I feel like I’m going to be alone for a long time. I know defiantly until I have the baby and get back in shape. That’s a given. Oh and another thing that is probably going to be hard for me to meet someone is the fact that I’ll have five children and have been divorced. Ug so much weighing against me in the odds of finding someone. I hate love.

It’s so cruel to me.

Not all love, just the relationship love.

Everyone’s got someone, even my ex’s. Sigh.

That bums me out even more because it makes me feel like there must be something wrong with me if guys that weren’t good to me found someone and I can’t even find someone and I know I’m a good person and a good partner.

I know I still need to fully get over my ex Mike, before I meet anyone to, I just have that fear that I’ll never have anyone. It’s hard, you know.

Some nights I cry myself to sleep because it’s just really hard to accept being alone and not having anyone to hold me or love me the way I know I deserve to be loved.

I don’t mean to sound like a desperate fool because I’m in no way desperate to meet just anyone. I just want to meet the one. That special someone like most everyone does. Doesn’t have to me now, after the baby and when I’m back in shape I’d settle for. Just not years and years. I know everyone’s like “your still young” but that doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter how old I am, I am still alone and have these feelings and age isn’t going to change anything. It’s only going to remind me of how much time goes by before I find someone special to share my life with.

Hell right now it would be nice to even have a girlfriend, I can’t seem to make any of those either. Maybe it is me.

I just don’t fit in.

On another note….

I’m 12 weeks pregnant today, yay

My face is dry and I get pimples all the time now. I get nausea and I’m tired a lot. I get back aches and leg aches and all sorts of aches. I have weird dreams. When do I not though, they do get more strange during pregnancy though. Not sure why. I crave chicken and ice cream. Not together of course.

I like pop cycles to.

oh and diet pepsi but I’ve always liked that.

Yogart is good to. But again, I’ve always liked that to.

I like chocolate milk shakes and oreo blizzards. but that falls under ice-cream haha.

I have my next doctors appointment on the 3rd and have to get another blood test done may 20th, well around there.

heres a picture of my belly now.

 

I still can’t believe how much my belly has grown and I’m only 3 months haha. My little bellabairie

What does an Amaira do in the morning?

Tags

Annoyance, Arts, Cat communication, Ellen, Labrador Retriever, List of Happy Tree Friends characters, Music, Pregnancy

Well.. I love to lay in bed for awhile and flick on my stereo and listen to the radio for most of the morning. I like listening to 103. something, I forget. It plays good music, my favs and it makes me feel good. It brings back memories of when I was a girl and I used to do the same thing most of the day. I love music, always have. It makes me feel really good especially when a good song comes on and you can’t help but dance along while you do things around the house.

I am listening now while I write this blog, ahhhhh. So nice.

Man! my cat is so annoying to me right now this pregnancy. Everytime she meows I’m just like “Shut Up Cuddles” I love her, but eek, that meow right now. Does anyone get that during pregnancy? When certain noises or voices annoy you more than they used to? Like My ex and when he listens to some kind of meditative chanting music when he comes to visit his son and we’re in his car. Ekkk and he still plays it even though I hate it. Usually you let the guest listen to their music or you find a common ground. Not really a common ground with us as far as most things go especially music. he doesn’t even like my music. Ha!

Stupid chanting music. Hu.. huuu huuuh, hu… like wtf

I know it’s suppose to be some sort of great thing, but NO!

I like music with rhythm and story and ones that move me and make me feel good not make me sit there and raise my eye brows and feel like someones going to hear me listening to this crap. LOL

Do you know what I mean? Have you ever listened to a song and your like, “oh gawd, I hope no one hears me listening to this? How do I explain it?

“Amaira… what are you listening to?”

long pause… “Um…. CRAP!”

 

Okay okay that’s harsh, but I am just being honest and having an opinion is a good thing. As long as it’s not meant to hurt others and it’s not. I respect others love for a certain music and culture what ever that music is, but I just can’t stand it and I hate being forced to listen to it and I don’t say anything because I don’t want to hurt their feelings so I just endure it and the fact that they know I dislike it but still listen is just weird to me because I would turn it to something they enjoy if I was driving or something we both could enjoy. Like come on… “BE KIND TO ONE ANOTHER” Like Ellen says. I love Ellen, but I am starting to wonder why she hasn’t gotten me on her show or featured me. Ha!

She has these dance dares I want to do, but I have no one to film me ever, I asked my ex once but he acts embarrassed by me half the time even though he deny’s it and never want’s to do anything fun like that. SOOO SERIOUS. Sorry I’m in a ranting rage over him again, I’m pregnant and he makes me mad and annoys me with how he is towards me and how he tries to fool me all the time like love and affections a game and then it’s like… “SUCKER” Don’t you hate when people do that.

You have no context but I’m okay with that. HA “Use your imagination.”

OH yes… listening to music, “What goes around goes around goes around goes all the way back around.” Wow what a song for the topic I just wrote. HAHAHAha

It is a true lyric…

What do you all like listening to? what music makes you happy? Leave me a comment saying so and do your ex’s still play games with you or annoy you ?

 

My first Ultrosound

Tags

Chats and Forums, Family, Health, Home, Pregnancy, Pregnancy and Birth, Reproductive Health, Teen Pregnancy

It’s TODAY!!!!!

If I get pictures I’ll scan them into my computer and post them to this blog when I get home tomorrow. Going out today <3

Busy weeks ahead. I like busy because it makes the weeks go by. Not like I’m looking forward to anything, well I kind of am. I am looking forward to being fully over someone I still am in love with and it’s taking so long, but I’m sure now it wont take much longer. You know how someone does something or says something and it makes you snap out of it? Ya… Let’s just say I’m tired of being treated and talked to a certain way and they don’t deserve my attention or affection. Only my respect considering that’s just what I give everyone no matter. I wasn’t raised to be rude.

I see good times ahead for me. TIME TO HAVE FUN WITH LIFE AND JUST ENJOY THE RIDE.

RAISES HANDS UP “WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE” This time the roller coasters going to be a happy, positive, weeeeee one” Ha

Back to ultrasound talk. This is my very first ultrasound this pregnancy because the doctor wants to make sure I am as far a long as I say even though I am pretty sure when I got pregnant, but he isn’t so sure because my cycles were irregular before I got pregnant because they hadn’t straighten out after I took birth control pills after I had Niki. I can’t take birth control pills unfortunately they have caused many problems for my body and I have tried many different kinds. Advice to girls. It’s not always a good idea to put something you have no idea what’s in it into your body. After the baby I’m getting my tubes tied. I’m scared because it’s an operation but I’m sure it will be okay. Then I wont have to worry about the unexpected, “uh oh” Ha!

When I meet the man of my dreams he will just have to love my own children as though they were his own. If he loves me he will. I know in the end all this waiting for the right guy and going through frogs will have been worth it to be with the one I grow old with.

Yay my ultrasound. I have to take the bus there with a full bladder which sucks because not only will the bumpy ride make me wanna pee, buses make me nauseated.

 

———————————————————————————————————————————–

 

 

“Aww… look at my baby” 11 weeks 4 days”

Ug.. I hate getting nauseous

Tags

Cooking, EAT, Home, Morning sickness, Nausea, Night, Pregnancy, Vomiting

So it’s night again and what does night time bring? Sleep yay…. nope. Nausea. Ug. I hate getting nauseous. I always get it at night time weirdly. I am fine almost all the the day, some times I get nauseous in the mid day but it’s rare. Mine comes at night time for some reason. I don’t think there’s any way to get rid of it and I forgot to get soda crackers so I had a string cheese and water. Ha! ya I bet your wondering why I thought cheese would do it. Well… I haven’t thrown up cheese yet so… and plus sometimes my nausea is caused by hunger and once I fill my tummy a bit it’s fine, that’s probably why it’s ok during the day because I’m always eating.