Before I got pregnant with my last child Teddy i weighed 120 lbs and then right before I delivered I weighed 154 lb and now after almost 4 months of having my little Teddy Bear I am down to 131 lbs so I have about 11 pounds more to lose until I’m down to my normal, average weight. Yay. It usually takes me from six months to a year after having a baby to lose all of the weight, so I still have a bit to go, but it’s nice knowing I’m almost there. 11 pounds isn’t that much to lose. I’m not working out or anything, just every day activities, like walking and dancing.
It feels so good not being pregnant any more and also knowing I am done having babies. Mind you I am still worried about pregnancy as every woman is, but since I don’t have any body and I don’t sleep around I don’t have nothing to worry about right now. I mean seriously I am worried even though I don’t got to be so much that I am on the pill just to have an ease of mind. I guess having five babies so close together has given me the heebeegeebees. it’s like it became my way of life. Ha! I’m terrified of pregnancy now. Well that and getting my heart smashed again by some guy who I think cares about me, but deep down only lusts after me and wants one thing. Sigh
I’ve been a bit blue lately because I feel like I’ll never find a man, especially one that treats me right and even though my ex was an a hole to me, I still have that heavy feeling thinking, why couldn’t he just love me like I did him. Ya know what I mean. I know thats normal to feel after a broken heart, loving someone so much and then finding out the other never felt the same and after being cheated on really does a doozy on you and it’s been so many months since I was cheated on and a full year since I was in a relationship. If I can even call it that. It’s a few days from valentines day and I know I don’t and wont have any one for it. I’ve been single for so long and I have no possibilities of dating. I know it’s nearly impossible since I am a full time mom of two small children, what man would want that responsibility? I may have to wait until they are school aged to even have some sort of possibility of meeting someone. I can’t even go on a real date, I don’t have a sitter and if I did I would worry about my kids, wondering if they were in good hands, so it’s basically impossible. It is what it is though. Life goes on.
On a positive note, I got my place looking real nice, I am finally living in a place I can really call a home and my little family is very happy here. I have been enjoying the view and being creative here and looking forward to more memories in this place. :)