Face book Buzz

Tags

Arts, Bodyart, Bodypainting, Face book, Facebook, Facepainting, Myspace, Shopping

It’s been ages since I last wrote a blog and I have many excuses for it, but none that will convince you.  You will just have to trust me when I say, I just didn’t feel like taking the time to write about my life. 

Why should I write about my life, it’s going good? Humans are strange that way, lucky for me I am an alien though so everything I do is strange. I write about my life when there are troubles in it, or when there are not, like now. I am unpredictable. No, this doesn’t make any sense, that’s the point of it. 

Okay, seriously, I swear there is a bee haunting me because I can literally hear buzzing from memory in my bedroom from when I saw a bee there trapped earlier today and now it’s gone? So where the hell did it go?

Of course I hear buzzing, because it’s some where, even if it’s not in my house any more. It’s out there.

Another thing thats bothering me is the fact that I can’t seem to pass level 79 in Candy Crush on face book. If you have no idea what I am talking about, you must be too busy with real life to know about it. That means you suck. “Just saying”

Candy Crush has been mind boggling and each time I pass a level the excitement lasts about a minute before i want to defeat the next level and the next until I pass my boyfriend in it who has managed to do a lap around me he’s so ahead. Even my mom passed me in that game at one point, it’s insanely hard and I swear the levels keep getting harder. Those dang chocolates that just wont die and like to flock together like zombies wanting my brains just keep covering the entire game board of candies and defeating my purpose, which is to devour and concur the level. 

I know face book can make you become excessive in status updates and its unlimited supply of games that want you to pay for special treats to pass the levels faster then anyone and technically become a cheater in secret. 

Face book is a genius, it has everyone buzzing around and posting when they took a shit or what they ate a for breakfast. pineapple. At one point I found myself telling face book everything I was doing. i couldn’t stop, I had to share with everyone that I was making dinner and taking a shower. I had to tell face book about my day and what happened in it and it got so excessive my brother commented on how I don’t need to share all that stuff. He’s wrong, that’s what face book wants. We are all lerkers now, it’s what life has made us now, we all must know. We must know more and must know all about everyone. 

If you get asked out by a guy or girl, what do you do? You check their face book of course. Are they regular, do they already have a significant other, are they a loner. Do they post when they take a shit? I mean I wanna know. You have to pass the face book check.

Lucky for me, someone has to pass more checks then face book status checks and picture albums, but that’s just being smart.

Well this blog was absolutely pointless and useless to anyone. I have succeeded in my goal. Yay me!

Publishing

Tags

Arts, Birthday, Book, Holidays, Publishing, Shankar Mahadevan, Shopping, Writers Resources

Yesterday I began the process of my publishing. My book Aquarian will be out in three months which means, by my birthday. Happy birthday me

I can’t even begin to describe how excited and happy I am to publish this book, it has been the one I treasure the most and I am most proud of it. I have never written something so deep and meaningful and magical in my life. I hope to continue on this journey and produce many books like this in the future. I hope you all enjoy the story as much as I did writing it and do reading it. I love it so much.

I will keep you updated on the progress and let you know the final day when it will be ready for you to get. It will only be available online at first, but I am sure if you go into a bookstore you can request a copy once it is out.  ;)

Tell your friends and family to check it out and look for it in three months. It is a great story. I will be writing a sequel to it which tells the story of Ava Jewel’s mother and father, leading up to Ava’s birth and beginning.

After this book I will be pondering of writing a last. I can’t speak on what it will be because it will give away My book I am publishing now. I don’t want to spoil anything for you.

Thank you all for following my work this far, it has been a long hard journey and I hope that you continue to fallow beside me through the many more we will take together, through my writing.

Love you all

Thirst Publishing

Tags

Ava, Books, Google, Matthew Goode, Mia Wasikowska, Park Chan-wook, Shopping, Thirst

I was sitting around wondering what the hell I am waiting for with my unpublished books that I have. Like what the hell? I have so many and yet they are just sitting there on my drives waiting for… hmm I was never sure as to what. I just realized that I can publish them using a payment plan through the agency I love working with and it will take only three months to do so. It will take me four months to save up, but hell, that’s great. I haven’t published anything since 2008 and come on now, it’s about time I got another book out there. I have decided on my manuscript titled Thirst because it is one of my best and I read somewhere in the world of Google that the best way to get your work out there is to start with your best pieces. If only I knew that back then. Silly me. Well we all start somewhere. I am so excited to begin this process again and I love this agency because they work with me side by side and guide me through it and allow me to brainstorm with them on the book interior and exterior. I will be putting my own unique design on the cover, I will ask if you are an artist and are interested in having your artwork on my cover that you contact me and ask details about what I’d kind of like and do your own awesome thing and I will approve it and if I use it I will dedicate the cover art to you on the book itself as a thank you. I know it’s not a paycheck but it’s exposure and sometimes that is greater because it can allow people to recognize you as an artist. We all have to begin somewhere. Though I must say the deadline for this is the April 30th. So act fast if you are interested.

Bio Of Thirst

Caught between two worlds Vampire Natin Blaine finds himself falling for the ever so beautiful and mysterious Ava Jewel. Up until her arrival he has been able to live a life unrecognized by the human world around him.

Curiosity builds when he realizes she isn’t just an ordinary human, but she is extraordinary in ways he couldn’t have imagined. What he doesn’t know is the mysterious Ava Jewel poses a great threat to the vampire race, when it is discovered that Ava Jewel is not a human but, an Aquarian who has lived centuries beneath the ocean.

 

Ava is forced to start over, after the loss of her father and their race. All alone, she must find the strength to move forward, but suspicions arise when a powerful vampire family reveal her true nature. How will Ava cope with her ongoing struggles between life and death and who will save her when all else fails.

 

Birthday Boy

Tags

Birthday, Birthday cake, Children, Family, Holidays, Home, Shopping, Twitter

Yesterday I celebrated my oldest sons 9th birthday. I got him a big boy red watch and a mario birthday cake which he loved. He was all smiles and so happy to see my new place and puppy. I was so happy to spend time with him and can’t wait to see him and my other kids soon. They are getting so big.

I can’t believe I have five beautiful, amazing children in my life.

I remember when I was 13 my oldest sister who now never wants to speak to me told me that I was adopted and that I couldn’t have children after I told her that I wanted a big family when I grew up and got married. I cried because that was my whole dream when I was growing up. To be a mama and when I was 18 and married and my husband at the time and I tried for a family we didn’t get pregnant for a good six months and I was so worried that my sister was right and now I have five. Though I will never forget the baby i lost before I was pregnant with Niki. I love you baby Angel.

I am glad my son had a good birthday party. His real birthday isn’t until Feb 20th, but he goes to school so I had to make it on a weekend. My sweet Johnathan. <3

 

To view the birthday video watch here

 

Quiet Evening

Tags

Books, God, Health, Humor, Recreation, Relationship, Shopping, trust

I can feel the end near of my living in this apartment, ahh, what a relief to be leaving and entering a whole new place full of new memories and experiences. Good ones I hope. I move in a day now, this is my last night here, I wont be sleeping here tomorrow night even though moving day is the 29th. Too much to deal with. I’ve cleaned up the place and packed everything and I’ve got like two things in my fridge. ha! I will be in major need of grocery shopping after I move in.

I’ll be getting my puppy most likely the 30th. That’s what I’m aiming for anyways and then my furniture comes on the fourth which I am excited about as well.

I am so very excited. So many good things lined up in a row, someone wise once told me, when things are good and meant to be, they fall into place. Everything about this move has fell into place, everything about my puppy fell into place and I feel like I am entering into a good phase in my life. I had a feeling about this place I’m moving into the moment I saw it. I remember it, I don’t understand how I could, since I have never been there before, but I remember being outside of it, standing on the street with my double stroller which is now occurring to me that I had just done that a week ago when I went to see it. I stood staring for a long time, just starring at it. It’s what I saw me doing in my vision, I didn’t think of that when I was starring, but the vision came true. My other vision, is of me in my new place eating pizza and surrounded by boxes. I am happy, but there is a feeling of, what now… Adventure, love and new experiences. Good things around the corner from there. I long for it now. For some odd reason, my trusting my feelings has brought me good things. I remember a wise woman told me to always trust in my feelings, because I had a gift. I told her, sometimes I find it hard to and she assured me, that I should not fear in them, but trust them because they are a guide.

I am so excited to get started. It feels so different from all the other times I have ever moved before, I can’t explain it, but it is. This year is strange and exciting to me. So much is changing, people who weren’t in my life are in my life now and people who were in my life are phasing themselves out and acting totally bizarre. I notice a shift, which I knew was going to take place, everyone was so afraid of the end of the world, but I knew it wasn’t an end, but a beginning. A change, like wearing your heart outside of your body, exposed. True colors show. From what I can see, it is true.

I notice the shift even in myself, I feel stronger and wiser and more sure of myself and trust in my intuition a lot more and trust in those I know I can trust in. I see things differently and acknowledge things a whole new way. I am not sure if any of you know what I am talking about, or if I’ve eaten too many fruit loops for breakfast again. Ha!

After tomorrow it will probably be a bit until I can post again, I’ll need to get settled. I am not even going to say I wont post or I will or even when because, when I set a date I don’t listen to it and I post a surprise one. Ha! like to catch you off guard. I never did like being predictable, if I am predictable I’d want it to be from the man of my dreams. I’d want him to read me like a book, cause no one else seems to know how to. I think that’s what we long for in someone. Someone who really knows us, who gets us and understands us. I have always felt out of place in life, I felt different. Having abilities and visions I couldn’t even understand separated me. Even if it wasn’t others doing the separating, I just felt separate, from the world. On my own. I think thats a main reason why people find it hard to relate to me, or make fun of me. They just don’t know what it’s like. At least to me they don’t and I don’t think they really even try to understand.

When I begin painting, I want to put my heart into them, I want to paint my heart on canvas. Paint my feelings and thoughts and express it in a way everyone can understand and relate to. Like a story in color.

 

Vivid Painting

Tags

Art, Canvas, Education, Paint, Painter, Shopping, Valentine's Day, Visual Arts

For the past few weeks I have been dreaming of the same image I want to paint. I keep seeing the shadows of it and how to draw it and how to paint it in. I see it being a medium to large piece and it is so peaceful and beautiful and has a sweet love about it. I am in love with this painting now, that I will create. I have know idea why it keeps reappearing, but it is so beautiful, one that I will have to frame and hang on my own wall if it turns out the way I see in my dreams.

I am still learning about the whole process of selling my paintings, once I get started, like how to duplicate the images so that I may keep the originals and sell the duplicates. I’d like to keep the originals for my wall and my own memory and enjoyment. It would be so great to inspire others to purchase my work and for them to want to hang my pieces on their own walls. That would be so great to see and hear about. If anyone does purchase my paintings in the future I hope they will share a picture of it hanging and post it under my page Paintings on my blog here.

Also if anyone knows how I may duplicate a painting from a canvas to another so that others may purchase, please let me know.

Is it odd that I am more excited about getting into my new place to plaint this piece, then I am to unpack and set up?  Ha! that usually never happens, I’m usually a decorating fanatic when I move in, but I am so looking forward to painting this piece, it’s insane. It’s just so beautiful and to think it all started with my mommyboo describing a picture she wants to find for hanging above her fireplace and all of a sudden a piece came to me, inspired by this image she described to me. Only I added a few things to it that i thought brought more life and love to the piece.

 

 

Fire Bell

Tags

All rights reserved, Apartment, Business, Construction and Maintenance, Infant, Shopping, Stairway, Teddy

So I woke up to the sound of the fire bell blaring through the apartment building. May I say, it’s so fun to gather up my two infants and try and go downstairs. I tried hard not to fall, my one year old Nki isn’t god at stairs yet so you can imagion how hard that was for me. Now imagion it while holding a new born in my arms. Yea… so I did what my mom said, i slipped on my runners by the door grabbed Niki who was in a diaper and shirt and left with Teddy in his blanket. I grabbed a pair of Nikis pants, I couldn’t find his shoes. We left down the closest stair doors and got to the bottom and then I had to carry both infants in my arms outside. I couldn’t put Niki down because he had no shoes.

It was of course a false alarm, so we headed back and on way in the door I lost my balance and had to put Niki down, who stumbled and banged his poor little nose on the door and then we struggled to walk back upstairs.

Now I’m pissed off at building and all these tenants that keep setting off the dang alarm with their lack of cooking skills and their smoking in the hallways and stairwells.

This is getting ridiculous. It’s now five alarm set offs within a two month period. COME ON!

What the Hell Man!

Tags

Crafts, Elvis, Elvis Presley, Infant, Shopping, Teddy, Teddy bear, Toy

I’ve had a baby for two weeks now and I forgot about all you peeps on my blog who were waiting patiently for me to write something. Well here it is,

SOMETHING

That settles the fuss.

Teddy is now two weeks and two days old today, he was born Nov 3rd. I had to be induced to get things rolling and after I was, it only took three hours to have a baby Teddy Bear. The labour was good, it started to hurt more when I got to 6 cm and then my doctor broke my water and went for a coffee. I asked for some drugs to take the edge off and got me some morphine. Okay so before I was even high, I had to push. It was not even 5 mins after my doctor went downstairs for a coffee. Two nurses had to deliver my baby. I got scared when they told me to breathe all serious faced. The head was out and I knew something was wrong. I found out later that the cord had been wrapped around his head three times and they were untangling it as he came out. Yikes. It wasn’t tight thank goodness and he was healthy and happy. He was placed on my chest where he hugged me and was holding onto me. The nurses kept commenting on how he was holding me. I guess they never really saw that often. It was adorable. I love my little Teddy Bear.

I changed my choice of name because he didn’t look like it. I wanted to call him Bear, because that’s what I felt his name was, but I didn’t think it was good to call him bear. When my mom gave me the name Teddy after singing Elvis’s Teddy Bear song I decided Teddy was perfect, because it was in fact another form of Bear. Hehe. So he’s my Teddy Bear. Teddy is a very content baby as well, he only cries when he’s hungry. Niki was a colic baby so this is great that he isn’t.

Teddy is my smallest baby, he was born at 6 pounds 15 ounces and is still looking ever so tiny. Everyone asks me if he was 5 pounds when he was born. haha. My other baby’s were big compared to Teddy. he still doesn’t look as big as they were when born.

Here are some pictures,

So excited

Tags

Baby, Baby shower, Blankets and Bedding, Child development stages, Children, Equipment, Shopping, Tiny Prints

Okay, so I have to write this because I am so freakin excited there’s confetti sprinkling out of my eye balls. Not literally  but you know what I mean. So I was cleaning up and had just sat down to relax when i got a phone call from the hospital and they decided they want to induce me tomorrow because the baby is so tiny. They said the baby and I are healthy which is good, but because baby is so tiny and has been for awhile they want to have me have the baby now so baby can grow better instead of making me wait another week. hehe yay.

So tomorrow I will be having my little angel

 

 

40 weeks & Counting

Tags

Baby, Children, Family, Home, Infant, Pregnancy, Shopping, Ultrasound

So I have passed my 40 week mark which baffles me considering this is my fifth baby and all my others came earlier. it is so odd to me that the fifth baby is taking it’s time and possibly because this one is very tiny compared to my other four according to the doctors. the baby is only measuring at 32 weeks and I am 40 weeks, the development is right on, but the size is small. Good for me because I wanted to have a tiny baby because all my others were 7’9 or 7’6 and it would be nice to have a 6 lb baby and not tare. (TMI)

I have had a lot of contractions for weeks which I guess are just painful braxton hicks sadly. I was dilated 3 cm and 50 % effaced last time I was checked which was about a week ago. I am not sure if I have progressed from that, but I have no way of knowing unless I go in labor or until my doctor’s appointment on Tuesday  which would make me days over my due date. I am scheduled to be induced on the 9th either way. I am hoping I don’t last till then and go in on my own, but sigh, it doesn’t look like labor is starting at this point. I can’t seem to go by contractions since I have them now and they last days and are anywhere from 8 to 3 mins apart, lasting a minutes and hurt. I am hoping I have show or water breaks so I can know for sure when to go in, other wise I have to risk being sent home for the fourth time. They wont keep me unless I make it to 4 cm and I am progressive.

I really am uncomfortable and have been for quite a while now, I can’t get much sleep at night, due to excessive heartburn and backache. I am unable to get comfortable and I got to get up to pee every hour or less, so it makes it quite difficult. Also when I am having contractions and their uncomfortable, it makes for an unpleasant night which leads to headaches the next day from lack of sleep. Sigh. I am really ready to have this baby and have tried everything to induce naturally, but nothing works.

I am starting to think this baby needs to be induced and I will have to wait till the 9th to get induced, I was just hoping I wouldn’t have to be induced this time, considering it is very painful and since I don’t get epidural s, yea… I am very uncomfortable.

I had a NST the other day to make sure baby is okay to last a week over due and it showed I was in fact having contractions about every five minutes, but they didn’t check me, nor did they keep me. I also had another ultrasound to make sure baby is good and placenta and fluid levels are good as well to last. I never heard back, but I would have if something was wrong, so…

The ultrasound tech didn’t tell me the gender, but an intuitive person who isn’t usually wrong on gender predictions says I am having a girl, which is my feeling anyways. So yay if it’s correct. Also I was eating at a restaurant and I mentioned how my first ultrasound went and how the lady changed her mind of it being a girl after I had gotten excited and she said that they usually do that to save their ass, because they can’t say their 100 percent etc. So she told me to go buy pink lol.

At this point I don’t care what the gender is because I just want to meet my baby, but of course I still feel and hope it’s a little girl.

Either way, it’s Claira or Corey

As you can tell from my expression, I am so done being pregnant lol

 

ChildBirth “How to deliver a baby in an emergency childbirth”

Tags

Baby, Childbirth, Children, Infant, Pregnancy, Shopping, Umbilical cord, Vagina

 

(For laughing purposes only)

 

What to do!

When you read these instructions you will find that they read more as a list of how to protect your own mental state. That’s because childbirth is not a normal event for you, and you normally do not have to deal with it!

. Don’t panic. To help you keep calm have a double shot of whiskey! This can help you focus on the fact that you are going to handle something for which you are totally unprepared to do.

. Call for help! This is a good time to get your buddies involved.

. Ask them to make sure they have a drink before they come over.

. Remind the mother that this is a ridiculous time to have a baby, and that she should wait until she gets to the hospital.

. If the baby’s head becomes visible, (for this you will have to actually look between the mother’s legs) have another shot of whiskey.

. Now comes the hard part! Place your hand on the head and provide it with support and try to keep it from popping out. (If the baby actually pops out, you will be stuck with this situation!

. Remind the mother to pant lots ( Everyone says this is a good thing!)

. If your friends have not arrived yet, have another shot of whiskey (this will sterilize your breath) and simply place your hands over the baby’s head as best as possible.

. Do not pull on the baby or it’s head! (you want it to stay in there as long as possible) If all else fails and the baby comes out, you have a critical situation!

. Now you have to get the little sucker breathing! Gently stroke downward on the baby’s nose to help expel the excess mucus and amniotic fluid. If this does not work, pick the little sucker up by the feet and smack him until he starts to cry.

. Place the baby skin-to-skin on mom, with the baby’s head slightly lower than it’s body (to help facilitate draining the mucus). Cover both them with dry blankets or towels.

. Now you definitely need another drink- Maybe mom needs one too!

. Don’t cut or pull on the umbilical cord.

. Now you just gotta wait a while for the extra stuff to come.

. Now this is going to be messy, so get a big pan or something.

. When the big blob called the placenta is born place it next to the baby, again do not cut the cord.

Give mom a drink and keep baby safe until somebody more competent than you arrives, or you get the mother to the hospital.

By now your buddies should be there- go for beer and pizza.

 

 

Doctors Appointment

Tags

Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center, Childbirth, Children, Family, Home, Infant, Pregnancy, Shopping

So I am nearing my 36 week of pregnancy and had a doctors appointment today. I am still measuring small at 32 weeks, but the doctor isn’t worried, this baby is just small, but still growing so there is no concern there. He still believes I will be having the baby early and is hoping I make it past thanksgiving because he goes away for four days and wont be here if I go in. I have no control when the baby wants to come though. :p I am very excited that the end is near and soon I will be holding baby in my arms.

I had a blood test today, the final test for this pregnancy, yay. The doctor didn’t even to tell me to come back next week lol, I guess he thinks either I’ll go in by then, or he forgot to mention it.

I am having very frequent braxton hicks that are much stronger and I get a lot of pelvic pressure and I have been losing my mucus plug quite a bit now, so I know labor is nearing. I was suffering from heartburn a lot, but since the baby is all snug in my pelvis, I have a relief of that and just have to pee a hell of a lot more. lol either way I get no sleep. :p

btw I live in canada and thanksgiving is on the 8th of october this year. I am looking forward to a yummy dinner, fallowed by apple pie, which is my favourite pie in the whole world. OH YES. Will I make it though. :p

So when do you think baby will come? How much will baby wieght? What will it be?

I notice I am very emotional with this baby as well, I cry about everything now. Lol movies, commercials, the thought of something happy. i was walking down the street and this old man tripped and almost fell and I reached out just in case to catch him and I almost started crying because I was worried he’d of fallen and hurt himself. Just at the thought of it, I got teary eyed. Also, last night I started crying because I was thinking what I should write in my step dads birthday card.

Moving

Tags

Baby, Children, Family, Home, mother, OMG (song), Recreation, Shopping

Yea.. so I got to look at the place on the bottom floor I might be moving into and I have changed my mind after seeing it. OMG. It is disgusting, the person that moved out that lived there before did not take good care of it. The walls are literally yellow. It reeked of cigarette smoke and the carpet needs replacing, the walls need painting and the bathtub is blackish in dirt and crud. The kitchen cupboards are falling apart and gross and the only thing good about it is its on the bottom floor and it has a wonderfully big patio. I am not bringing my kids and myself into a gross unhealthy place like that. NO WAY. So now I have to stick it out with the elevator problems and small place until I can save up to move into a bigger and better place next year. Gosh that place was gross.

I am getting rid of my large tv as well which should be gone today and as a temporary tv my mom is letting me use their small one until I can borrow their other one which is bigger and then borrow that until I can buy a newer one. I said I was going to downsize my tv, but I didn’t realize how much. lol

hahaha

Too funny :p

So I am staying put sadly. On the good side I hate moving and I don’t have to rush to move stuff before the baby comes which is going to be soon based on my latest symptoms and either way baby will be here before the 25th this month so… I was stressing about having to move and stuff and then move again next year, so now I can at least rest easy and just wait for baby and try and stick it out till then.

I can’t wait to meet my last little one. I go to the doctors tomorrow and I believe he’s going to check if I have dilated any as well so that will be exciting to find out if I have. I hope I have a little. I’ve been getting constant braxton hicks all day and night, and back aches. I am sure it’s soon, but not sure how soon from now.

34 weeks Pregnant

Tags

British Army, Children, Family, Home, Loss, Pregnancy, Royal Artillery, Shopping

 

So I am now 34 weeks along and everything is going great, the baby’s heartbeat is over 140 beats per min and is doing great. The baby has already made it’s way down and is ready to come out as my doctor says. He doesn’t think I will last too long.

When the doctor measured my belly it was measuring 29 weeks and I was 33 weeks when I had my appointment, which is now the second time I have measured small. The doctor isn’t concerned though and says it’s because the baby has descended down and is ready in place. He will be scraping my membranes at 38 weeks along, TMI but yay, because at least I know the baby will at the latest be born around the 24th ish in October. I still have a feeling about Oct 16th though.

 

My heartburn is still giving me grief but it’s almost over so.. just have to hold in there a few more weeks and then I get to meet my little dancer

 

Doll House In Progress

Tags

Barbie, Claire Bloom, Doll, Dollhouse, Henrik Ibsen, Jane Fonda, Marc Jacobs, Shopping

It’s not close to finished yet, but it’s looking really neat. It’s really fun to put together. I plan on doing a lot more with it. It needs more furnishing for one and the exterior of the house is a diaper box so it needs to be covered with a roof looking style and it needs to have a house looking exterior. Perhaps even a chimney. Not sure yet.

Doll House

Tags

Arts, Craft, Doll, Doll Making, Dollhouse, Furniture, Shopping, Woodcraft

I decided to make my own little doll house as a creative project. My daughter always comes over trying to play house but only has a few furniture pieces to play with, so I decided i would make a doll house. I am using a diaper box haha. I am obviously not close to even finishing it, I just added the basic design of it and still need to add the floors on different levels. Cover the exterior and interior in pretty paper to make it look doll-like and Purdy. I need to add more furniture and color. I need people for it. I need linens and windows. Its going to be so cute when it’s finished. I need to get more boxes to build the rest before I even think about covering it. I can’t wait to work more on it, it’s so fun to create. I love-making things and this is really fun because it’s girly.

 

I made the bed and night stand, but I think that’s pretty obvious. The dollar store has other cheap furniture I can get but if I can’t find, I can make. I’m good with my hands. I used to do pretty good in shop class. I am not using wood though, I don’t want to deal with nails and sawing and paint. I decided cardboard was the way to go. even if it’s just a model that sits in my home and not played with, I think it’s wicked cool haha.

Prenatal

Tags

Ectopic pregnancy, Health, Pregnancy, Pregnancy and Birth, Reproductive Health, Shopping, Ultrasound, United States

I got back from the doctors today, which was suppose to be yesterday but I had to reschedule because my doctor wasn’t in. I have sad news. well worrisome news. When the doctor was listening to the heartbeat I noticed something odd. The heartbeat of the baby sounded very weird. It was missing beats or skipping beats it had a weird rhythm and the lady doctor said it sounds like an ectopic heartbeat which freaked me out cause then both doctors were listening and talking in doctor language and I felt like a lab rat laying there asking them whats going on and why does it sound like that and is the baby okay.

The doctor said he’s not concerned it may just be something with the tissue of the heart and they will know more about it in the ultrasound and now of course I am worrying about my baby and hoping it’s okay.

Please send a little prayer out for me <3

I would be so crushed if I found out something was wrong. That would break my heart.

Eskimo Doll

Tags

alaska eskimo, Arctic, Business, Business plan, Consulting, Eskimo, Health, Shopping, Small business

My parents went on a cruise for their anniversary and brought me back a beautiful Eskimo doll. I love her, she’s so pretty.

It cheered me up some since I am going through a tough time right now heart wise with a bad break up again, yea that will teach me for trusting a man who had hurt me plenty times in the past, this time he cheated on me and only confessed because he didn’t want to go out for ice cream with me as pathetic as that sounds.

I am so not ready to be with anyone now and I have to majorly heal from having my heart completely smashed. I was on the couch crying for days, it was awful. I have never felt such pain like that, then when he hurt me like that and acted as though it was no big deal and then turned it all around to be my fault that he did it. I am thinking about getting a ring for my finger just to keep men away haha. Funny huh, but I hear woman do that so men leave them alone. Not like men bother me much, but I do want to add some jewlery to my collection and be married to myself for awhile haha. Does that sound dumb? oh well, I think it’s fun.

By the way I am officially divorced now by law. WOOOOO! I’m a free woman. It feels really great.

I deserve far more and from now on its me first and I’m going to concentrate on my new business plan which is HotSpoX which I am very excited about. I am so pumped about this plan that my sleep time is filled with thoughts and ideas for what else I could do to make it better and spread the word. Right now it’s just a small website and a channel on YouTube, but I plan to do much more with it. I plan to sell t-shirts and products with the logo and work with other YouTube’s for my future posts and sell my own cd’s with original music. I plan to sell E-books and get professional modeling photo’s done of myself later, after I’m back in shape after the baby.

I plan on designing clothing again and selling them.

So much I plan to do.

You can help, by donating as well and by promoting my HotSpoX channel to friends and family and letting others know about it.

http://www.youtube.com/user/AmairaJewelHotSpox

The Secret Of Panties Girls Don’t Share

Tags

Basics, Bras, Clothing, dancing men guys girls woman lady sweet secrets peanuts, Lingerie, Panties, Panty line, Shopping, Undergarment

We keep secrets? Oh gawd no. (nods head viguriously)<okay wrong spelling, I did that on purpose so you could fix it.

I am about to share something sacred about girls that I really shouldn’t because I have given an oath as a girl that I wouldn’t but I don’t believe in gender crap, the world should know the truth about us.

When we go shopping we look to buy panties and bras, the cute sexy ones that make us look and feel great and we’re not thinking, hey my man or this guy will love this. Oh no man. We are thinking, gawd I look good and feel good in this set. It’s not for men at all, we just let you believe it is and tell you it is so you don’t feel left out. The truth is we bought it to feel sexy underneath it all and dance around in our panties and bra at home alone to our favourite song in our favourite shoes while we drink margaritas and talk to our girlfriends on the telly.

It’s for us boys, sorry to knock that secret out of the candy box but you have to know.

When I wear a matching panty and bra set or matching panty and undershirt set which is more truthful since i hate bras with a passion of hate, I feel great and i know it’s going to be a great day.

Thats where it’s at boys.

So stop sitting around thinking we’re wearing this fancy ass shit for you, it’s for us and us ladys like to feel great and look great and if we do that’s all the box of peanuts we need in life.

I can get an orgasm just sitting in a great pair.

I know that sounds bad, but it was suppose to.

 

I’ve discovered I’m Boring

Tags

Arts, Entertainment, iJustine, Recordings, Shopping, Video, Video blogging, vlogging youtube videos boring lame peanuts talking shy, watching delete past look wanting views subscribers, writing cool awesome mama baby tired pregnant pregnancy, Youtube

I’ve observed my youtube and i noticed I don’t get nearly the amount of views I used to when I was ranking them in right before I got pregnant. I am starting to think it’s because I’ve become boring and then I realized I kept having blasts from the past and have removed my videos over and over and people are probably tired of it. Pfft

Well if you would stop finding me PEOPLE I wouldn’t have to delete now would I?

You think people would understand, well no, I can’t expect viewers to because they just want something to watch and if I’m not reliable with video posting and them having a favorite video and it staying in their stash then why would they continue to watch me. Well because you have to like an addiction, you have to watch me. You must or you will die.

Yea, um no. The fact is I’m a way better writer than I am a vlogger and entertainer because my hearts more in writing and I am myself when I write. I’m most comfortable when no one sees me and I’m hidden behind these words here. I can’t fully express myself in voice or video because I concentrate too much on what people will think if I say this or that instead of just doing like I do when I write. It’s hard to explain.

I know exactly why my videos don’t get the hits they would if my blogs became vlogs, but they can’t, because I just cant change who I am. Well I can grow and become evolved but I can’t just say, hey today I’m going to be like this and do it. I’m not that great of an actress. come on. Okay maybe I am, but I don’t wanna play.

I am enjoying what I do and if no one wants to enjoy it with me, so be it, you pumpkin head popsicle rolls. you don’t have to, go watch someone more interesting that swears. I notice that. Lots of swearing going on in popular vlogs. I can’t imagine me swearing to get popular, okay I can because I have a vivid imagination but the image of it kind of frightens me because I don’t swear in my every day life, it’s just not who I am. When I do randomly swear on occasion people stare at me like they’ve seen a ghost. I guess it’s just that rare and unsettling coming out of my mouth. I’m too pure.. Holy water holy water

Okay so, I’m boring. I accept it. I’m a boring vlogger, video person right now and I have no energy to be upbeat because I’m pregnant and tired.

Give me a peanut.

By the way thats my new way of saying give me a break. it’s cooler, you should use it to. It will make me happy, but either way I’m happy with my just using it. its mine, its mine.

Muah hahahahaha

Okay its late and I’m still up and I’m typing, why does this always happen to me. I stay up doing something when i’m half asleep and want to sleep in my nice cosy bed but dread the having to get up and change, brush my teeth and go to bed. I’m so freakin lazy damn it.

Have a good night.