It’s been ages since I last wrote a blog and I have many excuses for it, but none that will convince you. You will just have to trust me when I say, I just didn’t feel like taking the time to write about my life.
Why should I write about my life, it’s going good? Humans are strange that way, lucky for me I am an alien though so everything I do is strange. I write about my life when there are troubles in it, or when there are not, like now. I am unpredictable. No, this doesn’t make any sense, that’s the point of it.
Okay, seriously, I swear there is a bee haunting me because I can literally hear buzzing from memory in my bedroom from when I saw a bee there trapped earlier today and now it’s gone? So where the hell did it go?
Of course I hear buzzing, because it’s some where, even if it’s not in my house any more. It’s out there.
Another thing thats bothering me is the fact that I can’t seem to pass level 79 in Candy Crush on face book. If you have no idea what I am talking about, you must be too busy with real life to know about it. That means you suck. “Just saying”
Candy Crush has been mind boggling and each time I pass a level the excitement lasts about a minute before i want to defeat the next level and the next until I pass my boyfriend in it who has managed to do a lap around me he’s so ahead. Even my mom passed me in that game at one point, it’s insanely hard and I swear the levels keep getting harder. Those dang chocolates that just wont die and like to flock together like zombies wanting my brains just keep covering the entire game board of candies and defeating my purpose, which is to devour and concur the level.
I know face book can make you become excessive in status updates and its unlimited supply of games that want you to pay for special treats to pass the levels faster then anyone and technically become a cheater in secret.
Face book is a genius, it has everyone buzzing around and posting when they took a shit or what they ate a for breakfast. pineapple. At one point I found myself telling face book everything I was doing. i couldn’t stop, I had to share with everyone that I was making dinner and taking a shower. I had to tell face book about my day and what happened in it and it got so excessive my brother commented on how I don’t need to share all that stuff. He’s wrong, that’s what face book wants. We are all lerkers now, it’s what life has made us now, we all must know. We must know more and must know all about everyone.
If you get asked out by a guy or girl, what do you do? You check their face book of course. Are they regular, do they already have a significant other, are they a loner. Do they post when they take a shit? I mean I wanna know. You have to pass the face book check.
Lucky for me, someone has to pass more checks then face book status checks and picture albums, but that’s just being smart.
Well this blog was absolutely pointless and useless to anyone. I have succeeded in my goal. Yay me!