I grew up in a not so pleasant home and by that I don’t mean that the walls were falling a part and in need of a good fixing. It was hard growing up in a family with a dad who believed in the old ways of discipline, he grew up in such ways so I guess I am able to understand where it seems okay in his mind to do so. He told me once while we were walking down the street that he was the reason I turned out so well and I made it clear it was me and my own doing that brought me to where I am.
He helped make me afraid of men, but I can’t blame him for fears because it is I who chose to stay afraid and walk in fear of men and live this way. This I know now.
What makes a dad is what is in his heart and how much he cares for his child. How does he show the child he loves them? Well I do know my dad loves me a side from how I was raised and what I have witnessed with child eyes of innocence. I know he loves me because he has a smile on his face when he sees me now and reasures me when I am worried and shows he cares by remembering my birthday. He stays in touch with me. I know he loves me by the way he looks at me, with pride and respect for who I have become.
I want my children to grow up with a good daddy because I lacked a strong daddy figure in mine. My three first children I know will have that which makes me happy, but my little Niki I worry of because his daddy is unpredictable and I’m never sure when he will see him or if he even wants to. I haven’t even heard from him and I never know if he will be helping out with what Niki needs. I hope Niki has a strong daddy figure in his life who will teach him strength and love and kindness and how to be a good respectful and responsible man. Though… my mommyboo raised me and she was both my mother and father and I learnt so many things from her. She is the strongest, most kindest woman I’ve known. I am blessed to be her daughter.
I was also blessed with a father figure when she married her husband. I finally got the father figure I needed. It’s not quite the same, but I still look to him like a dad.
What do you think makes a daddy?