Had a rough night


Some nights I have a hard time with loneliness. I hate that. Night is always the worst and then the day time when I have things to do, I can forget about loneliness. If I could fully get over my ex it would be good and I don’t think I’d have such a hard time. I’m hoping to get over him fully by my birthday. ha! ya I have a goal date. I just want to have no feelings for him and be completely able to see him without feeling anything but. Oh Gawd I can’t believe I was with him feelings and just be able to deal with him coming here to see his son without having any emotional heart tug saying kiss him. Ha! I’m sure you know how that goes when you break up and still have feelings.

It sucks ass.

I know I deserve far better though and that is my strength and plus he rejected me many times in the past. Apparently I’m not good enough for him.

I believe things are meant for a reason and I think the purpose of my relationships has been my children who I love very much. The next love will hopefully be for love because I wont be having any more baby’s. I’m done after this.

Gawd I need so much stuff before the baby comes, it sucks not having the money right now to get it all. I have to kind of buy over the course of months. Thanks to my mommy boo I now have a bassinette. We went halfers on it. 🙂 YAY. baby has a bed now.

I just have to get

Clothes

Bottles

Diapers

Car seat

One can of formula for back up

Medical kit thing

lounge chair

and I wanted to get a play mat and a swing

Oh and a dresser  for the baby’s things.

I hope I have everything before the baby is born.

Well unfortunantly I have to cut this blog short and go catch the bus to pick up my kiddies for the weekend. 🙂

2 thoughts on “Had a rough night

  1. Yeah its tough when you have to be around someone you had feelings for and still do. Sounds like you have a handle on it though and know going down that road again would be bad for you. I think its cool (maybe a little strange though) that you actually have a goal date to be totally over someone. I am sure you will get the things you need for the baby before it comes.

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