Silent noise becomes a siren, it’s loud beyond my minds exposure. I’ll smell a fire and run to stop it, but realize it’s merely mind play. The lights they flicker and my vision stirs and my body shakes beyond controlling.
I feel confused, I wander aimless and feel my heart race in my chest. My hand it goes numb, my breath is catching, I’m falling inside, I cannot stop this. My body tensing, I sit in patience, I feel a strangeness I can’t explain it. I’m focused breathing, I’m lost in thought’s space. I feel like things have happened the same.
I wonder how many, episodes I have daily, because this feeling comes sometimes without this.
Finally answers, I feel relieved and right now I’m thankful this time, it wont be missed.
Dismissed or put off, today explores me and soon I’ll know the reason beyond this.
I want to live a normal life and so far these moments of space I’ve lost have taken the wheel, I’m held in captive.
After it’s over, I’m drained and discomfort haunts me for days. I’m tired and weakness holds me for ransom, but I’ve got no change to recharge it’s pay.
So I wait….
I accept what is and I take moment for moment until I find answers, until I find a way. This is less then okay, I want to be good, my goal is now this.