I was a shy little girl growing up, my first day of kindergarten my mother walked me to school and I felt frightened. I held my red lunch box in my hand tightly and my mothers hand I squeezed staring at the blue door. There was a line up of young children as tall as me in front of the blue door and the bell began to ring and they began to pile into the classroom after the blue door finally opened. A tall woman in a long floral dress stood next to the door waving the children in. She looked happy and had long brown hair down to her mid back.
My mother walked me up the stairs after all the children had settled in and I stood in the entry not wanting to move. I couldn’t. My mother sat me down on the bench next to the coats and I began to cry. I was terrified. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t speak. The tall lady in the floral dress walked to me and knelt down in front of me holding out a lollypop to me. It was red, my favorite. I had no interest in it, I wanted to leave, but I couldn’t tell her that. I couldn’t speak.
A younger girl, my age walked to me, I think her name was Danielle came to me and put her hand on my shoulder, “It’s alright. You can sit next to me.” She took my hand and led me to the center of the room where the other children were seated on the floor in a circle in front of a wooden chair. There was a book on the chair.
When I was young, elementary age, I didn’t have any friends and I would walk around the school watching all the other children run around and play with their friends. I used to imagine what it was like to have that. I wanted a friend. I sat on the stairs in front of the gym doors staring at the play ground. I was sad. A group of children walked over to me and one of the boys grabbed my foot and pulled my shoe off and ran away with it. I cried and fell to the ground, I think I scraped my knee a little. A lady teacher ran to me and I was still on the ground, on my hands and knees. She asked me what was wrong and I told her that someone took my shoe and ran away with it. The boy brought it back.
“I’m sorry, I thought you would run after it, I was just playing. ” He said.
I didn’t speak I stared down at the ground and the teacher put my shoe back on and helped me to my feet.