I have never experienced the pain that I had a few days ago and it’s a pain that will forever fallow me. A few days ago I found out that a loved one had passed away and I sunk. I couldn’t believe it, someone close to me was gone and I had just seen them, laughed with them days prier and now I would never see them again. I never even got to say good bye. I keep thinking their going to come back. If I had known that the last time was the last time I would have hugged them tighter, laughed harder, told them how much they meant to me.

Minutes after I had found out I had a seizure which was no surprise I was still adjusting to my medication so it wasn’t a big deal. I met up with my family was for a gathering and before we departed to another location I had another seizure. Again it wasn’t a big deal I just thought I needed my next dose so I took them and the evening carried on filled of tears. I couldn’t stop crying and either could anyone one else. The evening was closing in and I had to go back home soon and I had another seizure, at this point my family started to worry and then I had another and two other and my brother was on the phone with 9.1.1. I was taken to the hospital and put on oxygen and an IV and then had another one and was given Ativan and fell asleep and was kept in the hospital up until today and I am now taking two different kinds of medication and feel so groggy and sad. I cry in waves. It’s been really hard and I try not to let on how hard but… 😦 I just can’t believe this. I hoped it was just a night mare. 

You never know when someone close to you wont be there so I say this,

Hug them tighter, tell them you love them every chance you get, be there for them even if you think they don’t need you, listen, love harder, laugh harder and cherish every moment you have like it is your last.

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