Back to square one but I am not going to be negative and think thoughts of what I could have done to make things better because I have already given everything I had to make it better, but it never got better. Sometimes we track in mud through the house every single day and mop the floors thinking that the dirt goes away and tomorrow it wont come back, but it always does.
I don’t have to mop the floors anymore and I can rest easy knowing I did what I could and that the knowledge I know now will prepare me for the future and that now I know everything I don’t want and I will be able to recognize what I do not want sooner and have the courage and strength to say, this isn’t what I want. No exceptions.
I am a free bird and I can begin to find myself which was something I always put off because there was always some one to save. I need to spread my own wings and discover who I am inside and find myself because all these scars have cast a shadow on what makes me, me and what makes me beautiful.
It’s going to be challenging to move forward, but I am strong deep down and I can do it. With a lot of support on my side and encouragement from myself with little notes on the mirror that remind me of the good in me I lost sight of, I will get to where I was meant to be and when I finally get there, love will come to me. Love that has been waiting for me as I have them. Right now all I need is to put one foot in front of the other and focus on what I want for myself and reach deep down and find who I am inside without someone telling me who I am.