I’m Too Sleepy For This


I’m too tired to be inspired, let’s face it my mind is empty (i cant for the life of me remember what words go here to complete the sentence) and decorate the walls with pretty pictures from all the memories taken from me.
“Oh look… it forgot one.”
I pick at my nails and stare around the room and feel so insanely tired that I imagine myself walking over to my king size bed located just feet away from where I’m seated in the dining room and fall into a deep sleep, but I have two little boys eating sour cream and onion chips at the table with me.
“If I sleep, they will jump on me.” It’s not really a good idea. “I’m already grumpy.”
Last night my son decided sleep wasn’t something he needed, but an unlimited supply of milk was something he did and I was his butler.
“A zombie butler.” I vagely remember telling him that if he kept waking up to get more milk that he was going to turn into a cow.
My medication and sleep don’t really benifit me so you would think no sleep would, but apparently no sleep doesn’t do me good either.
“I can’t win.”
My minds still blank except for the grumpiness inside me as my son makes about to barf noises in order to get my attention off of the computer. I haven’t written in so long I feel like I have to start somewhere and this is as good a time as any.
It’s tired days like these that I don’t know whether I’m even awake. Going out is harder than being indoors, there is so much to focus on and let’s face it, my focus isn’t well today. I will have to go out though considering my son went through a jug of milk last night.
“I’m still surpised he isn’t mooing yet.” Makes me wonder, “Maybe it takes time.”
I can hear the childrens songs playing from my tv now, I guess I had them blocked out before.
“I want to take mary and her little sheep and put them on a train to anywhere but here. Her and those pick up sticks.”
I play with the earing at my left ear while I stare off blankly again and then glance at the clock seeing that it’s almost time to take my pills again.
“It’s clock work”
I want to go to sleep so badly and taking my pills is only going to make me want to that much more.

“I must resist.”
I could always play with the kids toys, they seem very entertained by them.
“Nah”
I could play hockey on my playstation that I like so much, but I don’t think that will help my sleepy eyes, it tends to make me sleepier. Watching a movie would do the same since I would be sitting on my comfortable bed and want to snuggle in my blankets and dose off and wake to the kids jumping on me.
“Not so plesent.”
I still don’t have a clue what to write for a blog, how about I ask you to help me out?
“Could you please give me ideas of what to write about?”

4 thoughts on “I’m Too Sleepy For This

  1. Anything you write I always find interesting and cant wait to read more. Like Trongod2000 i have been worried about you. I have been following you a very long time in different formats and think you are one of the most amazing people in the world. Would love to have updates on you, so we can know how your doing but also know how to send good prayers your way for what is troubling you. Love the creative parts but understand sometimes life just doesnt let the creative juice flow. You have a lot of people just waiting to hang on your every word. Tell us what you want us to know from your heart and it will be terriffic.

  2. Sure, I could give you a list. Nobody will know they came from a blocked comment so just pick one and go for it.
    First off. I have to tell you I’ve been worried a lot about you lately. Partly because you have not been on your usual haunts like here and utube. Partly because when you were on you sounded depressed and thats not good. Now you write and I’m sure your depressed. OK so the meds ain’t helping keep your spirits up. I get that. But your showing all the classic signs of depressions and I can’t help you from a room down the hall.
    Ideas for a blog/vlog:
    1. Bring your readers up to date on what’s happened to you. Is Rick still around? Are you on track to get married or what?
    2. How are doing? Are you still having ceasures? More, less, better worse longer shorter. Anything new from your doctors?
    3. IF your in a new place, you haven’t actually come out and said so. There have just been hints like today with the bed is next to the dinning. A video with background that doesn’t match the place you were in in previous vids. Perving stalkers like me are curious.
    4. Any thoughts on the pain of losing DJ’s son. You talked a little about it when it first happened but you’ve fallen silent since then. Does it get better with time? Does what happen have you looking in the mirror and wondering about yourself? Stuff like that.
    5. Does drugged stupor or children awake all night affect your dreams? Are there still lions and tigers to worry about or is sleep nice when you finally get it?
    6. Is parenting getting easier as the boys get older?
    7. Is life easier or sad without Mimi? Does the new cat replace her well?
    8. Do you see your future with your extra sensory, superman vision as going straight ahead on a good road or is it all bumpy and dirty? Is it uphill or downhill? Do you see green meadows along the sides or destruction?
    9. Can you still see moss on the north side of trees or has all touch with the world God has made for you become just a big black and white picture with no dimensions.
    10. Have you made any new friends to replace the ones you’ve lost? (spoke to Kimmi the other day and she was her usual self. ALL answers are still one word. lol If you say how are you? she says good. If you ask how is ethan good everything is one word with her and always has been. lol
    11. Are you playing games on FB? which ones how do you like them? Whats weird about them etc.
    12. This will be an even dozen and that’s enough. There is always the weather… Has it been unusually cold lately? Lots of wind or rain? Has it caught you unprepared while out? Do the boys like to jump in every puddle or just some?
    OK, hope there is some “food for thought” somewhere in all this. I know writing helps you. I know now it does me good to see you writing.
    Come on Frog

    Write me a sonnet
    about a girl in a bonnet.
    Write me a poem
    about a girl without a home.
    Tell me what it’s like
    in the park on a hike.
    Tell me your fears
    and bring me your tears.
    I want to listen to your voice
    but you know I have no choice.
    Don’t be a gorf

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