Understanding Autism Vs Anxiety

10435979_10152346775922984_2868040664889720491_nI can relate to my son who is autistic. I have some anxiety that makes it hard for me to talk to people on the phone, or do simple tasks that others may find it easy to.

When I think of autism and anxiety I think of it as this wall in the way. I know what is behind it and understand how to get to it, but I can’t. I do not have the tools to do so and I think in many ways anxiety is like autism, where others are given the tools, the chisel and hammer and what ever is needed to make a tunnel to get through the wall, but us with anxiety and autism we only have our finger nails.

Without someones help and tools we have to rely on our selves to get through the wall by scratching at it until we make a break in it. We get hurt in the process and it’s sensitive emotionally to us and frustrating to do so.

Where as others have the tools to just make their way through, we have to rely on so many things in order to break through this wall that is always in the way. It’s not that we don’t know how to get through it’s that we do and we can’t no matter how hard we try because of the missing tools in order to do so.

It’s not that we do not understand the way to do it, it’s that it’s confusing to not be able to use what is necessary to get through as others can and it separates us and we are then this separate being from our peers who find it so simple. It’s a simple task to make a phone call, but it’s a hard one for someone with an anxiety. It’s a simple task to convert from a bottle to a cup, but it’s a hard one to that of an autistic one when it just doesn’t feel right and we know that we need to convert but we do not have the tools to do so, so we are frustrated when someone tries to make us.

Maybe it makes sense to you, or maybe it doesn’t.

All I know is it makes sense to me and that I can relate to an autistic person on that level. With anxiety and epilepsy I understand some of the struggles.

I understand the courage it takes to build yourself up in order to achieve the things that are hard to do. I understand that when I am having a bad day or my autistic son is having a hard day that it isn’t because he is trying to give me a hard time or that he’s just acting out, it’s because he’s having a hard time understanding something so simple for someone else and that he is challenged by something and rely on me or someone for guidance. I understand that in order to find a way through the wall before him that he needs the tools that he doesn’t have. I believe that these tools can be given to him, that it may seem like something that is forever, but there is always a way around or through.
I believe that time and patience and a new way of looking at life and challenges that I and others face will help to broaden our perspective and help us gain the tools we weren’t given and that we have so much to offer the world but we have had the end of the straw that requires others to open their eyes and and ears and gain our heightened senses in order to look through our eyes and help us to achieve what we do not have and gain what we already do.
Instead of separate, bring us together.

4 thoughts on “Understanding Autism Vs Anxiety

  1. That’s great. I’m sure you will make sure he has the right people in his life to push that talent along. When he is a bit older, he can help you with your math weakness. Great match for the two of you. I’d be proud too if I were you. Pat on back for Mom. 🙂

  2. I found this blog very interesting. In my opinion, it is right on the mark. You’ve explained very clearly how a condition feels to the one who has it. It almost sounds like you’ve picked it up from a councilor. That’s not meant as a bad thing. It’s like saying you have gotten some medicine. It might not cure you but it can help you live. I think that is great. I mean, I’d rather there was a cure. Like you say, I wish there was a way to give you a hammer and chisel to wear on a tool belt to use when ever you need them.
    From almost the first day I met you, you have told me you felt “needy”. At the time, I didn’t realize what you were trying to tell me. I just thought it meant you wanted people to do things for you. Things that an average person does for themselves. I didn’t realize then that you were trying to say you can’t do things for yourself that others can do. It made me think you were just being lazy or something. It took me a couple of years before I caught on to how autism and aspergers actually affect those that have those problems. Then it took me a couple more years to realize that I couldn’t fix it. I tried, heaven knows I did. I’m certainly not trained or prepared to do that and, for that matter, neither is anyone else. Curing autism is a very rare thing. Some have a bit of success making it better but I don’t hear of people outright curing it. Very often people with autism are very gifted in other ways. Sorta like you can’t break through the walls you mention but you have a huge talent for painting the wall to make it look good since you can’t get through it. Or, you can’t write music but you can create it easily in your head. Or make clothes without patterns. Hope I’m making my point clear. Bottom line is autism does create uneven talent but the lack of talent in one area causes and excess of talent in another area. It’s a curse and a blessing.
    There is a new TV show this fall called Scorpion. There is a young boy in it. His mom thought he was retarded. He didn’t speak or do much of anything. It turned out he is a genius. He just need to meet other genius’ that could talk his language so to speak. I hope you try different things with Teddy and his brother to see if something shows up that they are gifted in. It may take a lot of tries to discover what it is. It might be, like the boy in Scorpion, that what he is good at is way out of his mother’s league. You may not have the gift he has so you can’t even show it to him. All you can do is try. No need to get bloody nails trying though. Most likely his talents will show themselves just like yours have developed on their own. Only, now you know to watch for them and when you see it… help it along if you can. Your mom helped you. Do you remember her helping you film your first videos? A sheet hung and a simple costume and Mandy was having a ball. A passion you have never lost in all these years. It was a simple thing but then… thats what moms do.
    This response might not have been much help but I hope it lets you know that there are others out here who know and understand whats going on and are here for you. It’s not just me either. There are others. I think you know who they are. One was nice enough to send you a pretty pink ball cap. A lot nicer than sending a pine cone. lol

    1. Nope. No councellors for me, i realised this understanding on my own. 🙂 my son niki who had autism is really good with math n is said to b headed in the direction of being a processor… very intelligent. Makes me proud already. 🙂

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