Countless hours daze in waves through me and over the hills of the highest slope I cave in. I am a loss for words and I puff into my cigarette that was once nothing in hand. I swear at the sky and imagine your face. I only speak at moments of heighten torture, when my heart cannot bear it any longer.
You toy me as a bear playing with it’s dinner and smack me till I lose sight because with you I cause you blindness. Not in love, but in numbness because you feel no more. You simply want because it’s easier and it allows you time to choose without mistake, but I will not allow you to put me as a piece in your game and for that you will claw at your scalp in pondering sadness and always wonder where I am. Always wonder if your choice was the choice met.
I will give you nothing and take nothing. I will be a silent storm raging and it will not phase me, I will walk silently through your world without notice and without questioning. I will be no where and everywhere, but not by choice, but life is pulling us together and forward, but at a slow rate and the slide of slopes is not through, but I will not ride.
I give back my ticket which is to your surprise.
You will always wonder and I will shuffle forward and not look back and grieve. I will keep moving so that you can not catch me. I will keep forward and keep tall and shelter my body and heart so that you can never taunt these walls. I will be fine.
But right now I’m small