I hate being heart broken and forced to let go of a dream. I can’t do it some days. Well… to tell you the truth it’s only been five days since he or I have said anything to one another. I can’t say how many times I want to text or call or email. I start to panic if he’s alive because its so unusual, but then again its not when shes involved.
I hate life right now, I dont know what life is without him and now Im forced to let go and move on. I have the support I need and the love, but the torture haunts me day in and day out and I feel anxious. I think about screaming into a pillow. Im angry, im hurt, im sad, im heartbroken, my dreams been crushed and life will never be the same without him in it.
All i wish is to get something anything to know hes okay, but for some reason I believe he wont be back, that he and she are finally making it work and they were destined to be and I was destined for… Im not sure yet. Right now im just trying to heal and get through one day at a time.
If only there was a magic wand that could make me forget him so I could move one as he has. So I can let go and love another.
It fucking sucks